Ch 13: Bare Twice

Bella.

I was lying naked on the bed as he approached me, shivering in anticipation. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Edward’s shirt was unbuttoned and exposed his smooth chest. I was instantly wet.

Edward smiled down at me. I wanted to reach for him but my hands were tied together and stretched over my head to the bed frame. A gag firmly in place between my lips, I pleaded for his mercy with my eyes. My body was so hot it was burning, everywhere.

Edward turned his back to me and I watched him slide the shirt off, his creamy skin taunt over his muscled shoulders. I squeezed my thighs together, rubbing them slightly, but it didn’t help with the anxious spasms. He heard me moving and turned around. Crossing back to the bed, he shook his head at me disapprovingly. The corners of his lips turned up as he spoke, “Shhhh, darling. Have I ever not satisfied you?” I stared up in to his fuck hot eyes and slowly shook my head ‘no’.

“Bella, if you want to cum you are going to have to be a good girl, do you understand me?” He was teasing me and I knew it. I loved this game. Edward moved from my side to the foot of the bed. “Open up for me, baby. Show me how good you are going to be for me.” His eyes were trained between my thighs as I slowly parted my legs planting my feet on the bed with my knees bent. I wouldn’t deny him, not tonight, that was a different game. Tonight, I am the willing victim. Waves of lust surged through my wetness as I thought of all the other games I wanted to play with him.

I watched as he lit several candles and placed them around the room. I didn’t recognize my surroundings but it didn’t matter. It was clean and didn’t have much floor space, decorated in oranges and browns. Edward left the lamp in the corner on, turning off the main lights.

Leaning over, he brought his face inches from me. His eyes connected with mine. I could feel his breath on my lips. I held my breath as his index finger to trace the swatch of fabric across my cheek. The ball in my mouth was held in place by blue satin ribbons that tied behind my head.

“I am going to fuck you, Isabella,” he whispered, his words alone almost sending me to orgasm. I looked up at him, begging for it. I wanted him to fuck me. “But first,” he continued, “I am going to play with you. I like to play with my prisoners.” My entire body exploded in chill bumps. “Oh poor baby,” he mocked my reaction. Sitting on the edge of the bed, ever so lightly, he dragged one knuckle down the outside of my outstretched arm from elbow to my shoulder. My skin was so feverish, his light touch felt cool and tickled sensually.

Yes, yes, I want to be played with, my mind screeched. I arched my back against the bed. The fabric that bound my hands was tight and I could feel it chaffing when I pulled against it. Slowly, he reached for the small white container on the table beside the bed. My eyes widened; I knew what was next. Edward moved so precisely, every movement calculated. He held an ice cube up in front of me so I could see it. He watched my face for reaction and I obliged his with another involuntary shiver.

I closed my eyes and winced a bit when I felt the small bit of frozen water make contact with my nipple. I opened my eyes to watch him. I can’t say I cared for the ice on nipples but watching him do this to me was the fucking hot. I hardly even noticed the brutal cold numbing my flesh after a few seconds. Edward continued rolling the ice in circles around the tiny bud that was quickly going numb. He moved his eyes from my face to my nipple several times before the cube was almost completely gone. The bed was wet beneath me where the ice water had run down my side.

“Was that cold, Isabella?” he ask me and I nodded my head. He fished in the bucket again, this time producing two ice cubes. “Hmmm, let’s try this.” This time each nipple was assaulted with its own cube. I gasp behind the gag at the contact on the previously neglected nipple.

Without stopping the circular motion, he locked his eyes with mine, a wicked grin on his face. “I like the way your nipples get so hard, Isabella. I like the way your tits react to me.” His hand disappeared in the ice bucket again. I moaned against the smooth ball in my mouth and arched my back. With my eyes closed, I heard him retrieving more ice.

The heat radiating from the bare spot between my legs intensified. Edward balanced a small cube of ice on my belly button. I sucked in my breath as he brought another cube to my skin just behind my ear. Ever so slowly, he guided it down my neck, tracing my collarbone. Farther down he went, making wide circles between my breasts and down my sides. The ice left a burning trail as he circled between my hipbones.

He loved this. Every time I would twist or arch to meet his touch the darkness intensified in his eyes. That moment, I lived for no other reason than to give him pleasure; his pleasure is my pleasure. My comfort is not relevant.

While he had my attention focused on his hand that was steadily making laps around my pelvis, he brought his other hand to my chilled nipples and began to pinch them taking turns. At first, he pinched lightly and it felt good. I pushed my chest forward to meet him. The third pass he squeezed hard and I flinched a bit. They weren’t as numb as before and the pins and needles feeling mixed in the sting of his touch. When he pinched hard, he rubbed the nub gently before assaulting the other side. Back and forth, he loved the way my body reacted to him.

“Are you a greedy little girl, Isabella?” I nodded shyly at him playing the part. Keeping my lashes lowered and peeking up with him with the most innocent eyes I could muster,

Yes, I want more, they said.

The bed was thoroughly soaked under me when Edward decided to retire the ice. I couldn’t hold still against my restraints. How long he wanted to play was completely up to him.

“You are being such a very good girl, Isabella.” Edward appraised me thoughtfully. I had handled the ice and the pinching well. He knew I was inexperienced and he was patient, taking his time with me.

“I am going to release your mouth.” I looked at him knowing exactly what he wanted and turned my head so he could untie the silky straps behind my head. Gently, he removed the ball from my mouth and I smiled at him gratefully.

He had removed his pants and was standing beside the bed in black boxers. The erection in them was enormous. The fabric was tented and pulled at the seams under the strain of his hardness.

“Tell me, Isabella, do you see something you like?” His voice was steady and in control.

My eyes trained on the silky black fabric I forgot I wasn’t gagged and nodded my head ‘yes’.

‘Tsk, tsk, Isabella. I removed the ball so you could speak to me and you refuse?” His hand shot to my breast and he flicked my nipple hard. Tears sprang to my eyes and my eyes jumped to meet his. “Isabella, if you are not good for me I will have to punish you. You don’t want that do you?”

“N- no,” I meekly whispered, again, playing my part. It was so hard not to bring my legs together. The heat was building between my legs to an all new high. I kept my feet planted firmly on the bed, saving that defiant gesture for later, if needed.

“Good. If you are bad for me Isabella, I will have to hurt you.” He made sure he had my full attention. “If you are not a good girl for me, I will take you to the parking lot and bend you over by the street and fuck you in the ass for the world to see. Would you like that, Isabella?”

I opened my eyes wide in mock horror and whimpered, “N- no.” I tried not to smile but it slipped out.

Edwards’s eyes were dark. “I think you would like that, wouldn’t you? I think you would.” He answered for me. “I never would have thought such a pretty little girl would be such a dirty whore.” He grabbed the scarves binding my hands and yanked on them making my wrists burn.

“Tell me Isabella, you filthy slut, what it is you will do for me if I free your hands.”

I knew the best way to bring him to the edge was to give him a blow job. I wanted to feel his hard dick in my mouth. I wanted to tease him the way that he was teasing me. He reached for the bucket of ice and set it on the bed by my hip.

“I want to suck your cock,” I answered him lifting my head off the bed to look at him. Willing him to let my arms free, they were going numb from being over my head for so long and I wanted to touch him so badly.

Edward chuckled. “I bet you do,” he conceded as he slid toward the foot of the bed, “but you don’t need your hands to do that.” I laid my head back down on the bed. Holding it up was making my neck ache.

I didn’t have to look to know he was between my legs. Edward blew on my hot core and my legs started shaking. His face was so close. I moved my hips wanting to feel his mouth on me. Raising my head off the bed, I looked down, watching him explore me with his eyes.

Edward shifted his weight and his hand went to the ice bucket still on the bed beside me. Fishing out a cube he settled back in position between my knees and resumed blowing sending shivers up my body, I was so slippery and hot. Deliberately, Edward began running the ice up and down my folds, circling my clit which sent me writhing.

“Edward, please,” I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut and pushing my head back into the bed. I felt the ice as he slipped it inside me, the small cube melting slowly. It felt so good mixing with my raging heat.

“Look at me, baby, I want you to see me tasting you.” Edward ordered me softly. I raised my head off the bed again and watched as his face disappeared below me. All I could see was his gorgeous eyes that he had trained on my face. He moved excruciatingly slow, knowing he was torturing me. I lifted my hips up to meet him.

Then it was over. Coming to, I slammed my hand down on the alarm clock. Damn it!

This was the second time this week I had dreamed about him. I can’t say I minded; the stuff I imagined him doing was fantastic. The biggest problem was, both times I had been cut short of my happy ending. Throwing my covers off, I stomped off to the bathroom frustrated. Turning on the shower, I stripped out of my tank top and boy shorts and waited for the water to get hot.

Facing the mirror I looked at my body. I wasn’t tiny like Alice. I had a medium frame; my hips and breasts were full and well rounded but not large. I wasn’t beautiful like Rose but I wasn’t ugly; just average and okay looking. Glancing down at my breasts, I brought my hand to my nipple and pinched it lightly. I could still feel his breath on me and indeed, I was not only hot in my dreams, I smiled at the humidity I could still feel down there. Edward made me hot when I wasn’t dreaming too.

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers down my stomach until I had crossed the small patch of brown hair and ran my finger around my wet clit. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the wall continuing to languidly rub my, now throbbing, womanhood.

The water was hot so I stepped in the shower and pulled the curtain closed. Leaning against the wall I let the steam overtake me. The searing water felt good on my skin. My mind returned to the sweet dreams I was having before my alarm went off. I closed my eyes.

Pinching my nipple in one hand, I rubbed my clit harder with my other. It wasn’t long before I had fully worked myself into frenzy and slipped a finger inside my wet pussy massaging the spasms.

I assaulted my senses with visuals of last night escapades. Two fingers in, I pumped in and out, slow at first. The closer I got to orgasm the faster my hand smacked in and out of me. The sounds of the shower drown out the slapping noise as my hand came in contact with the wet.

I pictured Edward’s face disappearing between my legs with my hands tied over my head. That did it. I leaned heavily on the wall as orgasm rocked my body. I couldn’t remove my fingers until the throbbing waves stopped. I was so sensitive when I came. I stood there for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. I was light headed in the steam and taking deep breaths I eventually became regulated again.

Reaching for my body wash and loofah before all the hot water ran out, I was partially relieved. The level of frustration I had waking up, was so intense one orgasm wasn’t going to do much. But, it did help.

Shaking my head, I smiled. Maybe Edward won’t want to go out on a ‘friend’s night’ like Alice suggested, if that’s the case maybe I can ask him to eat me. Laughing at myself, I scoured my body and shampooed my hair. I may have been a lot of things, but I wasn’t that kind of girl. It made for a nice day dream though.

It was Thursday. There was a fine mist that hung in the air with a good bit of chill. Still early in the year, it was typical. Not wanting to be caught undressed by the sometimes too helpful Alice, I quickly tossed on my black skinny jeans and a red v-neck sweater. I grabbed my black hoodie and headed downstairs to wait for the pixie.

Right on time, I heard Alice’s car door close. Moments later, she flitted through the front door, high on life as usual. Her make-up was a little darker today and she looked great. Alice wore clothes that would spell fashion disaster on anyone but her. Today she had on blue and black plaid slacks that hugged her hips and ass and dropped straight from the knee. Under her long black coat, her sweater was a cream knit that scooped low and tight fitting to her curves. Even in her three inch heeled black boots, the top of her head was eye level to me.

“You must be caught up on your beauty sleep,” she observed me as I finished of the last of my coffee.

I smirked. I knew what she meant. I felt good this morning and it must have showed. I grunted in a dad-like response and turned my back to her so she couldn’t see the smile that crawled on my face. I busied myself with pulling dinner out of the freezer.

“So, Bella,” Alice paused.

Ut oh. Warning flags went up in my head. I looked at my friend who was definitely up to something. She always approach me the same way when she was about to proposition me. It wasn’t always bad but I knew her well enough to know she was going to try to talk me in to something.

“Yeah,” I looked at her and then back to my backpack I was rummaging through. My Ipod had dropped to the bottom of my bag and I had forgotten to fish it back out last night.

“I’m going to Port Angeles tomorrow after school and thought maybe you might want to come along.”

I looked up at Alice and waited for her to go on.

“I have an appointment, I’m going bare.” She giggled. “My appointment is at 4:30 so we will have plenty of time.”

“You are crazy,” I laughed loudly. “That’s going to hurt like hell. I thought you weren’t going to do that.” I thought back to last year when she made an appointment to get waxed and chickened out.

Alice just smiled at me sweetly. “I want to,” her voice softened, “Its going to be a surprise for Jasper.”

“What?” I squawked at her wide eyed. Alice was still a virgin, last I knew.

She rolled her eyes at me. “C’mon, we are going to be late,” she held the door open impatiently and we headed to her car.

We were half way to school and Alice hadn’t said anything. She was humming along to the radio like she didn’t just drop a bomb in my kitchen. Alice and Jasper had only been dating for two weeks. It was unlike Alice to move so fast with a guy. Especially considering what she was planning and her motives for doing so.

As if she knew what I was thinking, Alice turned down the radio and pursed her lips. “He is the one Bella,” she said in tender determination.
I looked at her solemn face. She was serious.

“But, how do you know?” I didn’t understand how she could possibly come to this conclusion in just a few weeks. The fact that Alice just declared she found ‘the one’ fed my fears of Alice’s uncertain future. She often acted impulsively, but something as big as declaring she found her one and only was not something I could see her come to terms with lightly. Alice was smart and good at thinking things through.

“I just know,” she voiced in a firm whisper. She sucked in the tiny stud that adorned her lip. “It’s a feeling. I knew it the first time we went out. The first time he touched my hand and every time he has touched me since. He was made for me and me for him. We are perfect.”

There was no arguing with her about it. It seemed ridiculous to me that she would know all that from a handful of dates and all the texting. We pulled in to the school and Alice parked in her usual spot. Her face lit up when she saw Jasper waiting for her. I was barely out of the car and she was already wrapped in his arms, whispering in his ear.

I grumbled, “Morning, Rose,” which she returned to me with equal enthusiasm. At least I wasn’t the only one around here that wasn’t always a morning person. I liked it when Rose matched my mood; it made me less grumpy not being alone.

“So, Bella, About tomorrow..?” Alice called over her shoulder at me as Rose and I followed her and Jasper up the stairs.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I guess.” I sighed. Alice and Jasper disappeared in the crowded hallway and I turned to Rose.

“Are you going with?” I assumed Rose knew what I meant and she did. She and Alice like to text a lot. Personally, I hated it when my phone was always beeping.

“Nah, I have a paper I have to finish on the downfall of modern feminism and how all these dumb bitches put themselves in the spotlight defeating the purpose of the movement.” Rose smirked. Leave it to Rose to write a paper about something like that.

“You still spending the weekend at Emmett’s?” If she was there it would be easier for me to make the trip to Edward’s to return his shirt Saturday.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” She flashed me her signature smile.

Rose, unlike Alice, had always been promiscuous. She lost her virginity when she was 14 and had been with several guys since. She even experimented with Jessica Stanley before Jessica turned in to the school whore. Last year Jessica’s parents shipped her away after she got pregnant and was unable to identify the father. That chick made my skin crawl and nobody missed her except maybe the football team.

In first period English, the class was given free time to work on the book report due next week. I had finished mine two days ago. Pulling my papers in front of me to appear busy, I let my mind wander.

Saturday, I would return Edward’s shirt. I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to say to him and I kept running scenarios through my mind.

Knock. Door opens. ‘Hi, Edward, I wanted to thank you for helping me.’ Lame.

Knock. Door opens. ‘Hi Edward, here is your shirt.’ Duh.

Knock. Door opens. ‘I washed your shirt, Alice wants us to go out, as friends?” Horrible.

Knock. Door opens slowly. Edward smiles seductively and pulls me inside. Pulling down my pants he lifts me up and I straddle him with my back against the door. Not likely.

Fuck. Me.

I giggled at the irony of my last thought. I seriously needed to get a grip. I still hadn’t confirmed he was single yet.

Mr. Garlett cleared his throat at the front of the room. I looked up and realized I shared my amusement out loud with the class. Thankfully, the few glances I received, found nothing when they looked to see why I was giggling and they had resumed to the tasks in front of them.

My thoughts turned to Alice and her plans for tomorrow. She was definitely nuts. I know she and her dad got on extremely well but I bet that relationship would be different if he knew the things she did without his knowledge.

Alice and her father worked so well together I couldn’t help but be a bit envious. To an outsider it might not have appeared appropriate but there was nothing inappropriate going on. Alice was simply the woman of the house and Greg was the provider. They had a lot in common and Greg was always there for her when she needed him to be but he didn’t play the controlling, judgmental parent.

Dad and I were different. I lived under his constant scrutiny. Dad thrived on routine and if I had an off day he would pick up on it right away. Maybe it was because he was law enforcement but I couldn’t help but feel he was always watching me, waiting for me to screw up. He let me run the house, like Alice’s dad, but everything I did was done according to how he liked it. Alice was able to personalize her household; mine was personalized but with dad in mind.

Alice was crazy. A small grin played across my face at the thought of Alice walking funny after tomorrow. As much as I teased her about it the last time she made the appointment, I had always hoped secretly she would do it. I was curious. In my dream last night, and the one night before last, I was bare both times.

I bet Edward would like that, I mused. A familiar tingling graced my crotch and I felt the humidity rise a level in my panties. Flashes of Edward between my legs and the amazing orgasm I gave myself in the shower made my sweet spot throb.

Remembering I was in first period English, my face flushed crimson. Quickly looking around the room I was satisfied no one had noticed. I squeezed my legs together and mindlessly began to review notes for my second period Biology class.

It was going to be a long day, in the same breath, Saturday was only day after tomorrow and it was flying up on me. I sighed, catching the attention of Mr. Garlett again. Ducking my head, I forced myself to stay on task.

The morning’s classes flew past and soon I was joining Alice and Rose at our table. Jasper had joined us earlier in the week and now seemed to have made our table, his. He was quiet most of the time not having much to contribute to the gossip and girl talk that went on. I didn’t mind him being there in the least, even if I was concerned about how quickly Alice had latched on to him. Watching them together I could only admit that she was right. For now anyways, they were perfect for each other. I just hoped for Alice’s sake it would last.

After lunch I had PE and music. The school hired a temp to take over the music class since there were only a few months left in the school year. She introduced herself as Vicki Biers. She was a lot younger than Mrs. Cope was, looking to be in her mid 30’s at most. Her striking, red hair fell in wild curls to her waist. Vicky had a friendly face and outgoing personality, it seemed to draw every one in and we all took a liking to her, it would be hard not to, she was great for a teacher.

She favored the piano and through the week she played several classical pieces for the class. Our assignments were short descriptions analyzing notes and chords. Music wasn’t a hard class but Mrs. Cope always made it drag. Vicki was full of energy and was constantly interacting with the students, asking questions and making us think. I decided music was my new favorite period.

I almost made it through the whole class without thinking about propositioning Edward, my crazy friend, the pixie, or the fantasies that followed me out of bed.

The song today, made me think of Edward. It wasn’t what I had been thinking all day. I was hung up on something different. I couldn’t remember the color of his eyes. Or at least, decide on a color. Thinking back, all I could remember was darkness.

They were dark and brooding, like the song Vicki played.


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AN:

I figured it was time to step things up a bit. I didn’t plan on updating so soon but this chapter just sort of happened. ;)

Enjoy!!

Ch 12: Broken

Alice.

I covered my head with my arms, squeezing tightly, trying to block the sounds that echo around me. There is no escape. I cannot move. The stench of blood and urine are thick in the hot, sticky air. There is no circulation, it is stifling.

I am numb. My legs that are folded beneath me I can not feel but I knew they were there. The floor I am on is cold and I know it is made of stone even though I cannot see it. The pebbles cut into my legs. I could feel the stones scratching at me yet I feel nothing.

I cannot cry; tears elude me. There are others here though I myself am alone. Often, I hear them screaming, though when I move my own mouth there is no sound. Sometimes I can hear footsteps before the wailing begins; sometimes there are no footsteps at all. It does not matter that I cannot see in the pitch of black that holds me; I know I am in the dungeon.

All around me, the low moans and silent cries become white noise. It seems like hours pass. Not even the bloodcurdling screeching registers any more. It all becomes surreal. This is my prison. This is my fate. It belongs to me.

Deep inside, I know I should embrace my destiny, but I am unwilling to commit. My mind is holding out. It’s not time. How I know anything of time, I do not know. It’s a feeling. I just know and I can’t explain. While there is reason left in my maddening mind, I will wait. My mind will give in and soon my time will come.

I sit huddled in the darkness, alone, cold.

Light floods the room.

“Alice! Alice!” someone is shouting at me but I am blinded by the brightness. From the dark to the light, still I cannot see.

My body is being shaken and suddenly I am aware. Still suspended in my dream state, half of my mind trapped in darkness, the other half paralyzed in bright light.

Dad was sitting on the bed over me, his hands on my shoulders as he held me in a sitting position. I could see the panicked look on his face and I knew it happened again. Through the haze, I hear him saying my name over and over, not yelling now. He knows I am on my way back to him.

Dad pulls me to his chest rocking me gently, back and forth. Before long, I am cradled in his lap and I am sobbing. Drenched in sweat and the tears that were lost to me in the dark prison, I shiver. He held me like that for a good while, rocking me and telling me how much he loves me, stroking my hair and comforting me.

When I felt I had the energy to raise my head, I really wish I hadn’t. The pain on my father’s face was unbearable. I hate that I cause him this pain. It sends me in to a whole new bout of tears and I buried my face in his chest. I still cannot speak and he knows this. He is so patient and good to me. He has had lots of practice with this, more than any parent should.

I closed my eyes and let him comfort me, his soft voice and his warm embrace soothing. Almost asleep again, I felt him settle me back on to my pillow and I let him. I am too drained to open my eyes. It will be alright now. It has passed and I will rest.

Greg.

It was after four in the morning and there was no point in trying to go back to sleep so I went to make coffee.

For the last few years I have questioned what I did to deserve all that has come to be. First my wife, and now I’m slowly losing my daughter to something I don’t understand. I leaned forward with my elbows resting on the counter; head in my hands. I must have closed my eyes and dozed off standing up. I jumped when the coffee maker beeped alerting me the carafe was full.

Coffee in hand, I headed to my office. Setting the mug on my desk, I turned to the opposite wall, eyeing the painting that hung there. I remember when she bought it for me. I ran my finger along textured grooves of the frame.

The painting was of two lovers lying in a field of flowers. Their bodies did not touch but the connection between them was impossible not to see. Even though the painting wasn’t my style I had to admit the artist did an amazing job. The way the last light of the twilight reflected off of every wildflower in the field was intricately detailed. The artist positioned the man on his back with his head twisted to meet the gaze of his love who lay languidly beside him, her face turned to meet his.

The saddest part of this lover’s tale is I understood it, perhaps a bit too well. Robbed of the touch of my lover in this life, the connection lives on; the feelings stay true. Even in death, the love remains.

Sighing, I slid the painting up the wall; it moved smoothly on its tracks. I punched the code into the digital lock and pulling the small handle, the safe popped open. I pulled out the pale blue expandable folder and unwinding the cord tie, retrieved the most recent journal.

I quickly scrawled the information that need to be logged. Date, time I discovered her to the time it ended. My daughter had been having horrendous nightmares ever since her mother left. My dear friend, Laurent, happened to be a psychiatrist and he had set up these journals so we could track her progress or in her case, lack thereof.

Alice was stubborn like her mother; I smirked, and she adamantly refused to take medication. I had hoped for the first few years, she would grow out of these night terrors, as they were diagnosed, but as she got older it was undeniably getting worse. Her episodes lasted longer and came more frequently. I don’t know how many she had been through while I was away.

Thinking of all the times I had left her alone sickened me. Alice is so much like her mother. She breaks my heart. She is a good kid but she is too much like her mother. And it pains me look at her. Alice is a living reminder of everything I had lost, and everything I had left.

Unknowingly Alice held all the power. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make her happy when she looked at me with the eyes of my wife. I know it wasn’t natural; that it wasn’t right. Even so, I couldn’t help it. Alice’s hold over me that was irrefutable.

Last time I spoke to Alice, it was about her attendance in school. She was pulling straight A’s and she was never in trouble for anything but she wasn’t showing up to all her classes. I shuddered as the memories of that night came back, those eyes, her eyes.

Sitting at the dinner table, I knew it was the best time to talk to her about the letter I received in the mail from the school.

Alice,” I waited until her fork stilled over her plate and I knew I had her attention. We rarely spoke at dinner other than to exchange or make plans. “I received a letter today from the attendance office. You are missing a lot of periods.”

“And?” It was her only response.

I looked from the plate of food in front of me to her face. Her eyebrows lifted, challenging me to go on. As her parent, I had no control. I was merely an instrument and she was the conductor. When she stared at me with those sparkling orbs, I was reduced to nothing more than a broken hearted, love sick fool and I would follow in whatever direction she would lead me.

I looked back to my plate pretending to care about the piece of chicken I was cutting. Mustering what courage I could, I quietly mumbled, “You shouldn’t be skipping classes.” I took a bite and chewed, waiting for it. I knew it was coming.

“That’s nice of you,” the edge in her voice was unmistakable as she cooed politely at me. I could feel her eyes boring in to me. I knew if I looked up I would see a spectacular display of golden sparks; the fireworks she inherited from her mother.

“Where are you going when you don’t go to class?” I took a coward’s route, already knowing I had lost.

“Have I ever given you a reason to think I cannot handle my own affairs? Have I done anything to tarnish the perfect image of this family?” She tossed her napkin on the table and stood suddenly, sending her chair sliding backwards. I couldn’t help but make eye contact with her as she snapped at me, clearly offended. The sparks were flying at me and they burned straight to my soul. I could not look away. She had me locked in her gaze, her eyebrows raised and waiting. The determined set of her jaw and the half pout half purse of her lips did me in.

“I didn’t think so. Excuse me.” Her sing song voice was laced with hostility. Squaring her shoulders defensively, she stalked out of the room.

I had never won in a disagreement with my wife. She didn’t ask for much but when she felt strongly about something, all she had to do was look at me a certain way and I would give in. I vowed at our wedding, were I to accomplish only one thing in my life, it would be to provide her with all the happiness in my power. Providing her joy gave my life purpose. She was my life. A copy of our hand written vows was tucked away safely, guarded by the lovers on my office wall.

Alice never needed me. She had grown up fast at a young age, and she took care of herself quite well. The inheritance that I would leave her would insure that she would never want for anything. I know her mother wouldn’t have approved but financial stability was all I had to give.

Every thought I’ve had of my wife since she was taken from me is a dagger shot through my heart. The pain never lessened, I became numb. The night she died I lost my heart.

I slipped the journal back in the folder and secured it shut, sliding it back in the safe. Returning the two star-crossed lovers to their rightful position on the wall, they protected my secrets.

Sitting at my desk, I brought my pc out of sleep mode. Entering my password, I opened my email. Laurent had been pressuring me to bring Alice to him but it was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. He tried to understand my reasoning. I know Alice needs help but I can’t force her to get it. My baby girl had been through enough. As long as she was functioning and doing well I wouldn’t push her.

~

Larent,

It happened again The screaming started just after two and it lasted about two hours. She is resting now. She was the same as always but this one lasted much longer.

I have been gone for three days and this is my first night back. I will be canceling my trip to Chicago. I can’t leave her like this.

I think its time to discuss medication again. Will let you know how that goes.

Wish me luck.

I’ll call you soon.

Greg

~

Sending Laurent an update on Alice was difficult. I knew he was right.

Her first nightmare came about a month after her mom passed. At first they were random and infrequent, once every other month or so. At the time the incidents were mild and the staff I hired to run the house was able to deal with her without much trouble when I was gone. Ms. Larson had moved with us from Spokane. She was a wonderful woman in her 50’s who kept a tidy house and was a wonderful cook.

She lived in the guest cottage behind the house. She was only required to keep the house straight and prepare evening meals and of course be on the grounds the nights I was away. The majority of her time she spent volunteering at the senior center.

Now, Alice’s night terrors came sometimes twice a week. I would waken to her crying or thrashing about noiselessly. I would go to her and sit her up, shaking her gently until she would wake, but even in waking she isn’t really there, just her shell. Her mind always seems torn between realities; she was somewhere else, somewhere away from here and unreachable.

Her eyes always stay glazed over; even though I know she is awake. I know she is aware of my presence because she calms when I hold her.

When she was 14, I could wake her, relax her and have her tucked back in bed in half an hour. Now that process takes much longer. Several times in the last two years I have found her roaming the house in her sleep, just walking from room to room. I would walk her back to bed as if she was a tiny child and she would curl into a ball and fall deeper into sleep.

I wish her mother could be here for her, for me. I am so lost and I don’t know what to do. I am a failure. I failed to protect my wife and now I am failing our daughter too.

I reached to my bottom drawer and slid it open slowly, pulling the silver framed photo out gently. My love, my heart, my soul, I stared in to her brilliant eyes, the flecks of gold speaking to my heart.

“What do I do?” I whispered at the woman trapped in a photo behind the glass. “What do I do?” Even in death she mesmerized me. I held her gaze and my heart swelled until it hurt. When she died every ounce of passion in my soul I sent with her, to comfort her. The lingering traces of the joy that once overflowed from my chest now served as a cruel reminder of what once was. The memories were painful, but it was what I had been left with, that and a daughter who, as she grew older, grew to the likeness of her mother.

I felt tears pooling in my eyes and shamelessly I left them fall. I had become familiar with this pain; it was almost comfortable. As long as I felt the pain it meant I felt something. After I lost my wife, I had felt nothing. It took months to feel anything again.

It wasn’t until the night I heard Alice tell her story that part of me woke up again.

Alice was about to celebrate her 14th birthday and she had a friend, Bella over for the night. I was awake in my room when I heard the girls going down the stairs. Of course, I didn’t want to pry but curiosity got to me when I didn’t hear them return to the second floor.

I quietly slipped down the stairs with no intention of spying; I just wanted to check on them. I didn’t see them in the den but noticed a dim light coming from behind the wet bar. It was the light that came on when the doors were open. My suspicions were confirmed when I found the door ajar. A bottle of rum had been moved, I noted, as label wasn’t in perfect line with the others on the shelf.

This was something I didn’t think I was going to have to deal with as a parent. It made sense that I should have thought about it, I just didn’t. Alice had done great taking care of herself I couldn’t ask for a better kid. She had definitely caught me off guard. I knew I should be angry but the thought of confronting her bothered me. She was so like her mother. We hadn’t discussed sex or relationships and we certainly didn’t talk about alcohol or drugs.

I heard hushed voices coming from the back yard in the direction of the pool. With a determined stride I set out across the room to the sliding doors. Mother’s eyes or not I had to deal with this. Her teenage years were quickly approaching and this behavior was unacceptable. As my hand reached for the handle on the door I heard something that froze me mid air.

I heard her name, the name we never spoke out loud. I suppose I should feel guilty for listening in on my daughter’s private conversation but I couldn’t bring myself to go back upstairs. I’d never heard Alice talk about her mom.

I moved to the kitchen window that was closest to the pool and managed to slide it open a few inches without making a sound. The girls sat on the edge of the pool with their bare feet dangling over the edge. I could see Bella’s face but not Alice’s. The ripples the girls’ feet made in the pool cast reflections of light that danced around the patio.

I knew I should have said something about the alcohol but I never did. I sat there that night and listened to my daughter, the closest connection I will have to my wife, re-create the events of her mother’s death to her friend.

Horror consumed me as she described my behavior the night her mom died. I could hear the hurt in her voice as she recounted to her friend the objects I struck and things I said. She was witness to it all. Everything she had said was true and it hit me hard in the gut. I was never there for her. And, that night, I completely and utterly forgot she was in the room at all. Until hearing her with Bella, it never crossed my mind that Alice actually had been there the night of my demise.

As Alice’s father, I have been one failure after another to her. Sure, I provide everything she needs or could possibly want but ever since I lost her mother, I kept her away from me. I worked out of town right after the accident. Most of my family assumed I had taken time off and most of the office employees thought I was at home. Only my partner and my secretary knew I had flown to Japan and immersed myself in business.

I left my daughter when she needed me the most; it was too difficult to be near her. After a few months had passed, I was able to get a better handle on it but I still, to this day, have vulnerable moments. There were times when she was home from boarding school, I would glance up to see Alice in the right light or angle and for a split second I would see only my wife.

I am only half a man, haunted by my loss in the face of my daughter. My fathering skills leave a lot to be desired. I can only assume Alice gets her strength and courage from her mother because I have offered her none of these things. I am weak and I am a coward.

My daughter and my relationship is a good one despite all this. We think a lot alike so there is never much to discuss when we have to make plans. She is, aside from her attendance, an exemplary student. I provide her with everything a parent should with all the trimmings.

Since she started at Forks High School, Alice assumed control of the house. Mrs. Larson no longer makes the grocery list and meal plan, Alice does. Any affairs of the house Alice deals with. I was happy that she adjusted so well, it eased my conscience as I had taken to traveling more frequently.

A year after Alice’s bad dreams began, I went to my friend Laurent. She It was not long after the episode at the pool and her dreams seemed to be getting worse. I wasn’t be sure so I turned to my long time friend for advice. We had roomed together in college for a few years and really hit it off. He went into medicine and I went my own way but we always stayed in touch through the years. After the death of my high profile wife the last thing I wanted was a tabloid spread of me taking Alice to a psychiatrist.. I knew I could trust Laurent.

I had no idea what to do or how to help Alice. Talking to her was useless. Her sleep habits were a subject she refused to even acknowledge she had a problem with. There had been several attempts on my part over the years to address the situation with her.

Alice had a particularly bad night one night. The next morning when I tried to talk to Alice about it I saw something that bothered me. The sparks in Alice’s eyes flickered. The usually steady stream of brilliance had actually gone dark. Her eyes almost appeared to film over and I saw the blank stare I have seen so many nights in her room. It didn’t last long and seconds later she was back from where ever it was she went.

“There is nothing to talk about. Have a good flight,” she stormed out of the room and the conversation was over.

And that was how our conversations went on the subject. The proverbial door was slammed in my face at every effort. If there was an exit she would use it.

Still clutching the silver frame in one hand I wiped away the tears that wet my face. I caught the reflection of myself in the glass protecting the photo and I cringed. Disgusted, I pushed myself away from the desk and quickly tucked the picture back away in the bottom drawer.

Failure is an ugly look on a man.

I cannot give something I don’t possess. I can not be the parent my daughter needs. I am broken.

She would be up soon and for her sake, I needed to play the part.

I put on my mask and went to refill my coffee mug.


__________________



AN:

Sorry for the wait on the update. I have been so stupid sick. I can’t wait to get better and back on track again. Thanks for being patient with me. Next update in about three days.

You can follow me on Twitter: /thedarksparkles

This was a difficult chapter to write. The perspective is unlike any that I have attempted before. I can only hope my words were able to effectively convey what a broken man Alice’s father is. Devastated by the loss of his wife, he did not recover. He willingly gave up the best parts of him to travel through eternity hand in hand with the spirit of his wife.
As tragically romantic as that may be, he held nothing in reserve for his daughter. Emotionally void himself, he cannot help her. He can only watch as she slips farther and farther away.

Hmmm, wonder where this is going. Stay tuned and keep the reviews coming, I love to hear your thoughts!

Ch 11: Gin and Mothballs

Bella.

Dad was exhausted when he came in last night. I don’t really like that he is working the long hours he does. It sounds like he is getting a nasty chest cold the way he was coughing. He really needed to slow down but I don’t think he knows how.

There is a funeral today for Mrs. Cope and he was driving escort for the procession. I was glad to see that old bat go. She was the music teacher at the high school for the last thirty years and she was a bitch. Earlier this week, she died when her house burned to the ground. Apparently, she had drank herself to a stupor and passed out while smoking, dropped her cigarette on the couch and set the house on fire.

Barely out of the shower, I grabbed my phone that was sounding off on my desk. Glancing at the screen and saw it was Alice. “Hey Ali,” I answered while sponging the water from my hair with a towel.

“Hey Bella, whatcha doin?” she chirped.

“Just got out of the shower, other than that, not much,” leaving my hair to dry the rest of the way on its own I hung the towels on the bathroom I started tugging the covers in place over my bed.

“Want to come over? I’m bored,” she whined.

I paused seeing Edward’s shirt on the floor where I tossed it undressing to shower. “Yeah, but I don’t want to do anything, I’m still tired,” I told her, walking over and picking up the shirt.

“Cool, I just want to hang out, nothing special,” she reassured me.

Telling her I’d be there in a bit, I hung up. I tossed my dirty panties across the room to my laundry basket and held the shirt in my hands up for inspection. It was a black Sex Pistols shirt, one of my favorite bands, I glanced at the Anarchy in the U.K. poster hanging on my wall. Balling the shirt up, I brought it to my face and buried my nose in it. I tingled between my legs at the scent of him. He was delicious, there was no denying it.

Tossing the shirt on the bed, I glanced out the bedroom window. It didn’t look like rain but It didn’t look like Forks would get any sun today either and there was a slight breeze. I settled on some comfy jeans and a long sleeved cotton shirt. Tying my sneakers, I grabbed Edward’s shirt. I knew I should take it back to him but it also flashed through my mind that it I wouldn’t mind having it around the next time I got off. With a goofy grin on my face, I squashed the idea as borderline creepy and went downstairs.

I tossed the shirt in the washer. I would take it back to him and try to thank him again. I started to tingle yet again, at the thought of seeing Edward. Quit being stupid, I told myself. He probably wants nothing to do with the girl who he first met when she was puking all over herself, drunk on her hands and knees in a hallway. I shouldn’t even take the shirt back. He would more than likely rather I kept it than show up on his doorstep.

There weren’t many dishes, just a few cups. Perks of ordering pizza for dinner and eating off paper plates, I mused. Grabbing fish fillets out of the freezer to thaw and turning the coffee pot off, I finished up my chores making sure to move Edward’s shirt to the dryer. I wasn’t sure what time to expect dad back, so I left him a note on the kitchen table.

When I got to Alice’s I found her sitting on the living room floor working on her science project for school. She looked up and smiled. “Thanks for coming over. Dad’s gone until Tuesday.” She didn’t have to tell me she was lonely. Alice doesn’t like to be alone.

That was a big difference between Alice and me. I didn’t mind being alone but she did. I spent a lot of time here when her dad traveled. I pulled my book from my backpack and curled up on the couch. Alice resumed working on her project.

An hour later, she stacked her books up and stuffed her papers into her binder. “Hungry?”

I nodded. I could eat something light. Not that I was hungry but I knew it would help my body recover faster if I gave it nourishment. Setting my book on the couch, I followed her to the kitchen. While she made sandwiches, I grabbed us some sodas from the fridge and settled on one of the kitchen stools.

“Thanks,” Alice popped the tab on the soda I slid in front of her.

“Welcome,” I bit into the turkey and tomato sandwich. “Mmmm this is good Ali,” I took another bite. We finished our lunch and dropped our plates in the sink. We didn’t do the dishes. Alice’s dad had a cleaning woman and I learned long ago that she didn’t like us doing the jobs she deemed as hers. She was odd but nice enough; when she was around she didn’t bother us.

“So tell me about Emmett’s neighbor? What does he look like? Is he cute? Are you going to see him again?” Back in the living room Alice bombed me with questions I blinked and laughed, typical Alice.

“We didn’t really talk Ali, I was kind of too fucked up. He was nice enough to keep an eye on me but it isn’t like we stayed up playing scrabble.” There was no way in hell I was going to tell her he undressed me. “I’m going to take him his shirt back next weekend if that counts as seeing him again.”

Alice jumped up excited. “I knew it! I knew he was cute!” She clapped her hands together.

Rolling my eyes, I looked at her and grinned. Yeah, she noticed I skipped over that part. “He’s fucking amazing hot.”

My statement sent Alice bouncing her leg and squealing. “Oh. My. God.” She paused dramatically. “Bella. He is the one I just know it. You admitted you needed a boyfriend and then he shows up! It’s a sign! I just know it!”

I was laughing loudly now at Alice’s display of enthusiasm. “I never told you I knew I needed a boyfriend,” I spit out still laughing. Sobering, I added, “I’m sure he isn’t interested considering how we met. What guy wants a chick he found laying in a pool of puke?”

“WHAT?” Alice shrieked coming to a halt. “You threw up?”

I groaned. Ugh! I hadn’t meant for her to find out about that. “Yeah, I was throwing up when he found me,” I said looking at my lap. I really didn’t want to revisit the events of Friday night.

“That’s why you came back with his shirt on,” she surmised.

“Yep’ I’m pretty sure he wasn’t happy about having to baby sit me all night.” I couldn’t keep the disappointment from creeping in my voice. I’m sure it showed on my face, too.

Alice sat thoughtfully for a minute. It wasn’t long before she had whatever crazy plan she was concocting figured out.

“Okay, so we are going back to Emmett’s and you can go return his shirt. I will have Emmett call him and we can set up a friends night out. I can invite Jasper and Edward can be your date!” Alice clapped her hands again flashing me a wicked grin. She could be so devious.

“I don’t think so Ali. Just let me handle this. I’m going to take him his shirt and we will see how it goes, okay?” Alice looked really bummed out. Suddenly I was hit with a case of nerves. How am I going to handle this? I shook my head. Id figure it out later, I had all week to think about what I was going to say.

A date with Edward would be awesome, I think. I meant what I said when I said he was a nice guy. If he wasn’t he would have just left me in the hallway. But guys that fuck hot either have some major character defect or a girlfriend. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I got even more anxious. Shit! What if he has a girlfriend?

My face dropped and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest.

“Bella! What’s wrong?” Alice noticed my change in demeanor.

“He probably has a girlfriend,” I muttered.

“No guy in his right mind would bring a drunk stranger back to his apartment if he had a girlfriend worth a damn. I don’t know why he didn’t bring you to Emmett’s in the first place which means he must have liked something he saw.” Her eyes were twinkling again.

As much as I wanted to believe her, I knew I wasn’t lucky like that. If it was really like she said, then according to her own words, he wasn’t in his right mind. My good mood began to dissipate and I didn’t want to be stuck in a funk all day so I switched subjects to Jasper. It was easy to distract Alice, at least in the short term.

For the next hour, Alice filled me with information on everything Jasper. His dad owns a construction business and his mom has a small daycare in her home. In the summer, Jasper helps his dad and during school year he helps his mom with the kids when he gets home. He’s an only child and was born and raised in Texas which explains the southern drawl. Moving to Forks when he was ten, his mom home schooled him until high school.

Jasper was always so calm and seemed so centered. He would be good for Alice. Maybe settle her down a bit. She didn’t break the law very often but she was always scheming. I had to wonder what she would be like in twenty years. I could see her robbing a bank at gunpoint to get money to donate to a children’s hospital. She was bat crazy like that and it bothered me to think of what kind of trouble she could find herself in if she weren’t careful.

Alice made it clear a few years ago, she had no intention of going to college. With her upbringing, I wasn’t surprised. Alice had always had everything handed to her, her father made no effort to hide how wealthy he was although he wasn’t the type to rub it in anyone’s face. Greg was a good man and a good dad.

He donated every year to the after school clubs and the local charities. He never gave a whole bunch of money to one place, instead he seemed to divide it through the town. Every year, the sports team who need it the most, would get new uniforms and equipment. The animal shelter was sent a nice check and so did the people at the senior center who took hot meals to the people who needed them and couldn’t get out. Last year, he and Alice picked me up and we went to Port Angeles and handed out sleeping bags at Christmas time to the homeless. He never let us out of the car; we merely passed them through the window. The reaction from the people we gave them too made Alice and I cry on each other all the way home. Life can be so cruel and unfair.

Greg never tried to take credit for what he did. When the senior center wanted to present him with an award at their Christmas party last year, he refused to go to the party until they agreed to not bring attention to his contributions. I don’t know why he never remarried. All I can think is when Alice’s mom died his heart broke for all eternity.

I didn’t know her mom. It happened before they moved here. Alice keeps a framed picture of her in her desk upstairs in her room. The whole thing was quite tragic really.

The day before Alice’s 13th birthday her mom had flown in to Spokane where they lived. The car she had left in the long term parking garage had a flat tire when she arrived. It was mid November and there was several inches of snow on the ground, her flight was one of the last fights to land for several days as Washington was about to get slammed with a blizzard.

Checking the latest weather updates, she called Greg to tell him she wasn’t going to wait for roadside assistance to meet her. She decided to pay for a cab before the snow started falling too hard to get home. After she told Greg her plans, she got on the phone with Alice and told her how much she had loved and missed her. She was so excited that her princess was turning into a teenager. She told Alice she had a special present for her and that she would see her soon. Alice was the last person to talk to her mom before she died, except for the cab driver of course.

Alice only told me her story once. I was one of the few who knew what happened to her mom. Greg had moved him and his daughter to Forks to get away from the sad looks and sympathetic stares.

By the time Greg figured out something was wrong, the snow was coming down heavy. They only lived half an hour out of town but with the bad road conditions he gave his beloved extra time to arrive. When they didn’t show up and he couldn’t reach her on the phone he had called the authorities. Unfortunately, due to the heavy snowfall they were busy and it was several hours before they were able to respond to his call. By then the roads were almost impassable.

Chills ran down my arms, I always got chills when I thought about Alice’s mom. I glanced at Alice who was texting someone, Jasper I assume.

The way Alice told it, her dad went crazy. He was up all night yelling and screaming in the phone, trying to get someone to help him. It was the only time in Alice’s life her dad shut her out. She was completely invisible to him in his rage. She had cried herself to sleep on the couch watching her dad lose his mind in front of her. It was the only time she had seen her father scream and cry like that. She said she was woken several times by the sound of glass breaking or wood splintering. He had completely lost his mind that night.

In the early morning hours the temperatures dropped making it too cold to snow. The soft white flakes turned into one of the worst ice storms Spokane had seen in some years. The taxi had hit a frozen spot in the road and struck a tree early in the evening. The driver had died on impact or shortly thereafter. I don’t know which. Alice’s mom had a broken arm and scrapes and cuts but that wasn’t what killed her. She had frozen to death in the brutal sub zero temperatures. When search and rescue found Alice’s mother, she was huddled with the cab driver in the front seat trying to get any warmth from his lifeless body she could. In her hand was a silver chain and on it a diamond pendant in the shape of an A.

I looked to Alice who was flipping through channels on the TV. I couldn’t see the pendant that fell below her neckline but the silver chain was in place. I had never seen her without it. Why bad things happen to good people Ill never know and it rips my heart out when I see good people hurting who shouldn’t be.

The rest of the afternoon we watched the lamest reality shows Alice could find. I did laugh pretty hard when one particularly mouthy bitch got knocked on her ass and her ridiculously large boob came out of her shit. I was almost in tears. Alice was too, watching me.

I got home early enough to call dad and see if he was going to be home for dinner. I was relieved to find out he was on his way home already. He needed to rest to shake that cold. I pulled what I needed from the fridge and cupboards, starting dinner. Dad loved to fish. When I was younger he used to take me along. It’s not really my thing now I am older. I think he always wanted a boy but he loved me just the same.


Victoria.


I watched from corner as the old bat poured her self another one. She smelled like mothballs and gin. I couldn’t wait to get out of here. This whole house was saturated in her stank.

My boss was a good man. I had worked for him for several centuries and he never turned on me. Time and time again I had seen our kind turn on each other. Vampires are ruthless by nature.

A wicked smile played across my lips as I stepped from the shadows. The hag jumped unsteadily when she saw me appear from the darkness. I watched as the glass fell from her hand in slow motion and fell to the floor. I stalked toward her slowly, calculated. Her eyes were large saucers and bugged from beneath her thick glasses.

“Who… who are you? What do... do you want?” the old woman was barely able to speak, her fear making her stutter. The closer I got the more her skin paled. I knew she could see the blood thirst in my eyes. I knew she was terrified. She reeked of fear which only excited me further. She attempted to step back ward as I advanced seeming to forget the table behind her where she was just pouring her booze.

“Awww. Stupid, weak human, did you forget there was a table behind you? You almost knocked the bottle over,” I cooed. She was frozen in place staring at my eyes. I could see the reflection of my blood lust in her thick glasses. My eyes always turned the most vibrant red before a kill. I’ve been complimented on them many times.

Working with my boss had its drawbacks. He required that most of my meals were of animal and not human. The only time I was allowed to feed naturally was when I traveled as his courier to the Volturi or if I were on a job like this. Even then there were restrictions; no suffering and no mess.

The stupid woman was too frozen in fear to try to run away. I laughed which only scared her more. I could hear her heart which was pounding so fast it sounded like it was going to explode.

“That’s right Grandma, it’s your time. It will only hurt for a moment. I promise.” I licked my lips and could taste the venom pooling around my tongue.

I heard her take what would be her last breath. She had intended to scream but I couldn’t have that. Clamping my hand over her mouth and nose before she could utter a sound, I sunk my teeth in to her neck. She didn’t have any fight to her, not that it would have done her any good. She attempted to push me off her once to no avail. As the blood left her body she slumped in my arms, twitching occasionally, which was normal.

I snarled, drinking greedily from the large vein. Her blood was dirty with alcohol and tobacco and it was sour. A few minutes later, I tossed her drained, limp body on the couch. I moved the largest of the broken pieces of her long since forgotten glass of booze and set them around the floor in front of the couch where I tossed her. Grabbing the gallon of gin, I drizzled it over her pale wrinkled flesh making sure it splashed along the couch and hard wood floor. I moved her filthy ashtray and cigarettes in front of her on the coffee table and flicked the lighter.

I wasn’t sent to take care of humans very often and I can’t say this was the most pleasant of experiences. Her blood was foul and the moth ball odor was repulsive. Doing a quick check to make sure the scene had been set I touched the flame to a gin soaked throw pillow and tossed it back on the couch.

Fire didn’t bother me like it did some. It would take one hell of a fight to get me down. If I had to, I could give my boss a run for his money, but he gave me no reason to.

I pulled the disposable cell out of my pocket and dialed.

“Yes?” the familiar voice answered.

I smiled. If he weren’t hopelessly in love with another woman I would have definitely attempted to become his mate. I liked his wife though. She always left business up to her husband so our encounters were always on a social basis. She was a kind, generous woman, always gracious and happy to see me when I would visit. If she were any less, I would have attempted to steal her mate away from her, but as it is, they were meant to be.

Someday, I hoped to find a mate who would love me like that.

“It’s done. I’ll call you in a few days when we move to phase two.”

“Very good, I’ll talk to you soon, Victoria.” The boss never liked to talk on the phone much. He was smart and I trusted him, perhaps more than I should.

I glanced over my shoulder through the window of the stinking, old house. Flames licked at the curtains inside the living room window. Priding myself in another job well done, I turned my back and ended the conversation.

“In a few days,” I repeated. “Have a good weekend, Carlisle.”


_____



AN:

I was hoping to get this published yesterday but lots of little things came up. I’m a bit under the weather and my son needed extra homework help not to mention my dear neighbor lost her husband a few days ago and I have been trying to be supportive in her time of need.

Next update planned 3-4 days. Have a family trip planned this weekend and will be working on getting a twitter account set up so be sure to check for that after Monday I will post the info with the next update and on my blog profile.

Loving the reviews! Keep them coming!!

Have a great weekend my friends!!

Ch 10: Never Drinking Again

Bella.

Rolling on my back, I stretched and yawned. I heard voices speaking low somewhere behind me. My head felt like it was going to explode, heavy and under a lot of pressure.

“What were you fucking thinking, Eddie?” I recognized Emmett’s voice. He was aggravated about something. I cracked my eyelids and froze.

“She’s awake.” I heard someone say in barely a whisper.

Then it hit me. Flashes, of sitting on the stairs and more of me on my hands and knees puking in the hallway, shot through my head. Holy shit, my head hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut. Could this get any worse?

Opening my eyes again, I bolted upright. I wasn’t at Emmett’s. That wasn’t the worst of it. I was fucking naked! The large black towel that had been covering me had fallen to my lap when I sat up. Snatching the towel up to cover myself, I pulled my knees to my chest and swung my head around to Emmett.

Bad move Bella, I berated myself. Moving so quickly made my head spin. I groaned and rubbed my head. Emmett was standing a few feet inside the door with his jaw dropped, next to the guy I vaguely remembered from the hallway last night.

No one spoke for a minute. Emmett and his friend Eddie were staring at me. My eyes swept the area for my clothes to no avail. I felt myself flushing red. Someone had undressed me. Please, I begged in my head, please let Rose or Alice be the one who did it, but I knew that was highly unlikely.

I looked to Emmett and then to Eddie. Emmett was the first to break the silence. “You really tied one on last night, Bella,” he smiled but I could tell he was anxious.

I felt like an ass. There was no way of knowing what he thought of me now. Rose was going to kill me for sure. I groaned again and leaned back resting my head on the back of the couch, eyes closed. “My clothes?” I managed to whimper.

“Christ Eddie! She isn’t even dressed!” Emmett moved closer to me getting a good look at me, looking me over as if he were inspecting me. I pulled the towel tighter to my body.

I.. I’m sorry about that,” I heard Eddie stumble on his words. Raising my head off the couch I met his gaze. “They got dirty when you were sick,” he offered his eyes pleading with me to be okay with it.

I stared at him dumbly. He was quite the sight wearing nothing but a worn pair of Washington State sweat pants that hung low from his hips. His chest was firm framed by nice shoulders. The muscles on his arms were defined and his abs rippled. There was no denying Emmett’s friend Eddie was hot. My eyes traveled down his bare chest and landed on the delicious v-line that disappeared into his waistband. I tingled, everywhere.

What the fuck Bella? I chewed my own ass. Seriously, I didn’t remember much from last night, much less how I ended up, without my clothes, on Emmett’s neighbor’s couch. Now, I’m sitting here practically naked, covered in, not a blanket, but a towel, eye fucking my bronze haired rescuer who watched me puke all over myself last night. Just Fucking. Lovely. The throbbing between my temples and pain radiating from my neck interrupted my thoughts.

Emmett looked from me, back to Eddie and then back to me again. “You got a shirt or something, man?” Emmett asked Eddie. Edward broke eye contact with me and left the room. The layout of the living room was pretty much the same as Emmett’s I noticed. Instead of green accents like at Emmett’s, this room was done in grey with red and black accents.

I groaned. I need to pee. Emmett’s friend returned with a t shirt and approached me carefully setting it on the couch beside me. I stared at his bare feet, the reality of what was going on finally sinking in.

“I’m sorry about your clothes,” he said. “I didn’t have much choice, when I found you in the hallway I didn’t know what to do with you. I was going to take you to Emmett’s but I didn’t think there was anyone that was sober enough to keep an eye on you.” His voice was soothing which surprised me. Nothing else in the room felt good right now, my head was going to explode and my bladder was cramping, yet his voice was like velvet.

I was too embarrassed to look up. I felt bad. This guy found me drunk and pathetic in the hallway and was too good of a person to step over me and carry on about his business. Instead, he had taken me to safety and spent his early morning hours cleaning the vomit off me, babysitting me while I slept it off. Of course, Eddie had to be hot. That’s just my luck. No telling what he thinks of me after what little he has seen of me. It hurt to think about it, so I stopped.

I managed to get my arms in the right holes as I pulled the shirt over my head and not drop the towel. “It’s okay,” I mumbled. “I have to pee,” I added sounding like a child.

I glanced at Eddie’s face to see the corners of his mouth turned up. “Of course, it’s over there.” He gestured to the door that would have been the bathroom at Emmett’s as well.

Eddie didn’t move as I stood up wrapping the towel around my waist careful not to reveal my naked bottom half. I really had to pee. Shifting my weight from one foot to the other I teetered. Eddie’s hand shot out to steady me. His hands were so cold I instantly got goose bumps. He must have been doing something in his freezer? I guessed giving it little thought. He had removed his hand and I shuffled to the bathroom.

Flipping the light on, pain seared through my temples and I quickly shut it back off. The light poking thru the blinds on the small bathroom window was bright enough I could pee without the light on. Sitting on the toilet, I couldn’t help but notice how good it smelled. If this is what his bathroom smelled like I could only imagine what it would be like on his body. Grabbing his shirt that I was now wearing I buried my face in it and inhaled, it was absolute heaven. Whatever soaps he used, they were awesome.

Rose was going to kill me, I kept telling myself over and over in my head. Washing my hands I regretted having to leave the dark bathroom. Not that I really wanted to stay in the bathroom, but I knew Emmett was waiting for me outside and Rose and Alice after him. I grimaced; this day was going to suck.

Taking a deep breath I emerged from the bathroom, better to just get it over with, I figured. My bed in Forks was sounding really good right now.

The looks Eddie and Emmett were exchanging told me they would definitely be talking about me later and that made me uncomfortable. I hoped Emmett wasn’t upset with his friend, he didn’t really do anything wrong. I would rather he had taken me to Alice or Rose but I understood his reasons for not doing so. Everyone was wasted last night.

“Emmett?” anything above a whisper shot pain through my head. He looked at me waiting for me to finish. “Can you grab my bag in your coat closet for me?” He looked at me puzzled. “I have some clothes in there,” I explained.

“Yeah, be right back,” he shot Eddie an odd look and disappeared out the door. I sat back on the couch to wait.

Eddie had turned away from me and was fiddling with a knickknack from the bookshelf in front of him.

“I.. Thank you,” I spoke softly. He didn’t appear to hear me or he just wanted me gone already. I wasn’t sure which. I sat in silence and took in my surroundings.

The couch was overstuffed and wrapped in light, grey leather. The rug appeared identical to Emmett’s, I noted. If my head didn’t hurt I might have even giggled when I got a visual of the two of them rug shopping together. That’s so not right, I scolded myself.

My head raging, I was grateful no one turned on the lights. There were thick black drapes covering the windows. The only light came from the direction of the kitchen and looking in that direction hurt my eyes. A set of mirrors on the far wall that made an interlocking pinwheel pattern and his coffee table and end tables were made of dark wood.

Eddie was still standing at the bookshelf flipping something shiny around in his hand. I wanted to say something to him but there was no excuse for my behavior and I had already bothered him enough. I couldn’t wait to get my clothes on and get out of here. Thankfully, I had a pair of stretch pants in my bag. It got cold in Forks so I kept a clean pair in my bag in case I needed to slip them on under my jeans.

Emmett returned with my bag and I hurried in to the bathroom. I dressed in the dark.

I felt like shit. This wasn’t me. Overwhelming waves of shame rocked my body and I leaned heavily on the wall. I don’t know why I go along with this shit, I thought bitterly. I couldn’t count the number of times Rose or Alice had scraped me drunk off the floor. Every time it happened, I would swear to myself I wouldn’t do it again and a few weeks later I’d get sloshed at some bullshit party Alice would drag me to. I didn’t blame Alice; it was my fault for lack of control. I hadn’t been in control of anything my entire life. That’s why I kept going back and doing this shit over and over. I knew it was getting to be a bad habit that would lead to a bigger problem. My sophomore and junior years I didn’t drink nearly as much or as often. Now, I was reckless and I knew it. What puzzled me was, I didn’t really care.

A thump on the other side of the door brought me out of my reverie. Quickly folding the towel and grabbing my bag, I knew it was time to face the music.

I was surprised to find Emmett alone in the living room. My eyes questioned him and he knew what I was asking.

“Eddie… Edward,” he corrected himself, “had somewhere to be.”

I swallowed hard and my heart dropped. My own reaction to Emmett’s words blindsided me. He kept his back to me the whole time Emmett had been gone. He held something shiny in his hand that he was rhythmically flipping and spinning artfully in his long fingers. I’m pretty sure his hand stalled for a fraction of a second when I told him thank you but it happened so fast I couldn’t be sure.

Emmett walked behind me down the hall. I noticed when he closed the door the apartment was 4B making Edward Emmett’s upstairs neighbor. The noisy one, I remembered, thinking back to the weekend I confronted Rose. Edward, I repeated his name in my head. Obviously, his close friends, like Emmett, called him Eddie. I kind of like Edward better. Either way, Rose had never mentioned him.

“Rose was sleeping last I checked,” Emmett told me going down the stairs, “I was making coffee when Eddie called me to come get you and woke Alice up. Everybody else left about an hour ago.” If Rose was still asleep, I knew Id only have to face Alice, for now.

Rose was still out and Alice was curled up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of coffee. Following the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen, I poured a mug of the steaming liquid and joined her on the couch. The sun was bursting through the blinds making me squint. I’m never drinking again, I told myself out of habit.

Emmett disappeared to his room so it was just me and Alice. The pixie adjusted her blanket and I looked to find her eyes watching me, expectantly. Great, just great.

“Ali, I don’t want to hear it. I drank too much, went out in the hall, got sick and Emmett’s neighbor let me sleep it off at his place.” The words took so much effort to get out I was out of breath and my head pounded with each syllable. I waited to see if my response was enough to buy me a temporary pass on the inquisition.

Alice produced from under her blanket a bottle of Tylenol. “Take these, you look like shit,” she ordered me tossing the bottle to my end of the couch.

Even though it hurt, I giggled. Alice wasn’t going to push me. She didn’t just happen to have a bottle of pain relievers hiding under her blanket. Nope, she drank too much and was hung-over too.

I couldn’t help the smirk that stuck on my face.

“Shut up!” Alice shot a throw pillow playfully at me, half grinning. It hit my side and rolled off the couch to the floor. “So,” she dramatized her words, “Who is this, mysterious, Edward?” It was her turn to giggle as she teased me. The drawl she applied to the word ‘mysterious’ was so Alice.

Grabbing the discarded throw pillow from beside my ankle I tossed it back at her. “Not now, Ali,” was my response and I moved to the kitchen and began cleaning up. It was easier to clean the kitchen than have to explain last night with this hideous hangover. I heard Alice get up and busy herself with putting the living room back together.

I was lucky Alice had a hangover; she was quiet and didn’t try to question me anymore. I actually got enjoyment from the fact that she was suffering with me even if she did handle it better than I did.

An hour later, the apartment was returned to its original state. Rose and Emmett still hadn’t surfaced. Grabbing my bag, I told Alice Id see her back in Forks and headed for my truck.

In hindsight, the whole morning was surreal. I moved in a fog and spoke in small sentences or phrases. It felt like I was half asleep and partially disconnected from my body. Normally, when I had to deal with these morning-after effects, there wasn’t a hot man in the mix and I have never woken in a strange house naked before.

My truck roared out of town and back to Forks.

Dad was working a double and wasn’t home yet. After a quick rinse in the shower I fell on to my bed. Deciding tonight would be a pizza night, I fell asleep until dad got home.


Emmett.

I ducked as she hurled another pillow at my head. She was pissed.

Even when she was mad she was beautiful. Rose tossed her blonde curls over her shoulder and turning her back to me swung her feet off the bed. Wrapping the sheet around her she looked like one of those Greek goddesses.

“Why didn’t he just bring her here? I swear to God if he did anything to her…” her voice trailed off. There was nothing she could do to him and she knew it. Physically, she couldn’t faze him. If she tried to expose him he would simply disappear and she would be locked up in a mental hospital.

She stomped in to the adjoining bathroom and slammed the door.

I knew she wasn’t going to take it well. She gave Eddie the cold shoulder both times he came down this last week. I encouraged him to keep stopping by, too. I think he knew how important it was to me that my girl and my best bud got along.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I put my head in my hands. Rose would like him if she would just give him a chance but I knew this was all too new to her. Rose would come around when Rose was ready. It was simple as that. I heard the shower turn on.

If she thought she was going to be angry and hide from me, she was wrong. I love her and I will not let her issues with Eddie ruin what we have. Yanking my shirt over my head, I barged through the bathroom door. Thick steam fogged the glass of the shower and Rose never saw me coming. I dropped my pants to the floor and opened the shower door.

Fuck she was amazing; her head tilted back she was rinsing the soap from her hair. With her back arched and arms up, her nipples smiled at me in a friendly hello. I watched the tiny streams of water and bubbles run down her body and my dick was instantly hard. Waiting until she rinsed most of the soap out, I stepped into the shower and closed the door behind me.

Hearing the door shut, her eyes were wide in surprise when they locked with mine. I was going to show this woman how much I loved her in the best way I knew how.

“Emmett, what are y-..” her voice muffled as I placed my hand over her delicious mouth and kissed the tip of her nose.

Stepping closer, I saw a flicker of excitement in her eyes. Grabbing her arm roughly, I spun her around, keeping my hand over her mouth. I let go of her arm and pushed her square in the back until she was smashed against the steaming glass wall. I leaned in to nibble on her ear. She loved that shit.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” I whispered seductively. “I am going to show you how much I love you.” I bit her tender lobe, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make her moan through my fingers. My free hand trailed down her spine and cupped her firm ass, angling it towards me. I pressed my cock into her back. “Do you want me to show you how much I love you?” I teased her still biting and sucking.

She nodded her head up and down. Releasing her ass, I slid my hand between her stomach and the glass. “Are you going to be a good girl?” I teased her locating her nipple and tugging hard. She nodded again.

My body pressed against hers and leaned in until my cheek lay on hers. Closing my eyes, I half begged her, “Please baby, I love you. Let me love you. The rest of the world can go on without us. I only want you and I’m going to show you how much, okay?” I moved my hand from her mouth and twisted myself so I could look her square in the eyes. “Someday I will be your husband. No matter what happens, when we are out there in the real world, it is always you. Nothing anyone does will change the way I feel.”

I felt her sigh beneath me. I knew she loved me; I never questioned that. Rose had issues when it came to facing shit. I would not let her run out on me mad because the people in our lives were fucked up. She was mine as much as I was hers.

Pulling back slightly, still teasing her hard nipple between my fingers, I pulled her into position. “The feelings I have for you cannot be summed up in words, my love, I am going to show you how I feel and hope it’s enough.” I heard her suck in her breath at my last words.

Closing my eyes, I guided my cock into her wonderful pussy and I prayed she felt the same connection I did. Rose was moaning in time with my rhythmic thrusts. I knew she was ready to orgasm and I knew how she liked it. Drawing out my length until just the tip was inside her, I slammed into her. She was screaming my name and clawing at the wet, foggy glass and I pounded into her harder. Her pussy was so hot and tight.

I bet she looked awesome all wet with her tits smashed against the shower glass and her pussy dripping between her legs. After her third orgasm, I decided it was my turn. I let go of her nipple and grabbed the back of her hair while keeping her hips in place with my other hand. I yanked her head backwards and she cried out making my cock even harder.

“Ask for it Rosie, Ask me for my love. Tell me to fill you with it,” I seethed in her ear, my frustration evident in my tone.

“Please Emmett… please cum … in me,” she was panting and gasping for air. I waited for her to continue, “Fill me with… with your love….show me.” Her words were broken, my hard cock that I was ramming in to her. .

Her every word made me harder. Fuck, I love this woman. When she gasped out loud it only encouraged me to bang her harder. Demonstrating the force of our love, I drew back and slammed her as hard as I could shoving my cock deep into her juicy cunt. She rocked and moaned, pushing her ass back in to me. Two more thrusts and I was done for. I put my hand on the wall over her shoulder to steady myself. I felt her muscles milking every last drop out of my dick. I didn’t want to know how she did that but I fucking loved it.

After catching my breath, I pulled out and smiled when she whimpered. My baby liked that. I turned her around slowly. She opened her mouth to speak but at the look I gave her she closed her mouth.

I gently stroked her cheek with my fingers.

“I love you Rose. I don’t know what kind of shit we will have to deal with in our lives. Your best friend is a drunk and mine is a vampire.” I watched her absorb the words. “The one thing I do know is before you I existed. Now, because of you, I live. Without you I would be no better than dead.” I bent and kissed the bare skin that covered her heart.

Truthfully, I had no clue what lay in store for us. I did know it would take more than a drunk ditz from Forks or a supernatural freak to destroy what we shared when we were together. Sometimes, if we hadn’t seen each other for a week or so, Rose would begin to look for faults in our plans. No amount of talking on the phone came close to the time we spent together. Having no words that could even come close to the way I feel about her; I showed her.

Every time I took her, our minds would meet somewhere in the middle. After I reminded her properly of how it is when we are together, all of her fears and doubts would disappear. That’s how it was with us. I can’t say I minded having to fuck my hot woman regularly to remind her of the connection we share.

I smiled and stepped out of the shower to let the thoroughly fucked Rose finish her shower.

Whatever the future held for us, good or bad, we would face it together.


_____


AN:

Hmmm.. I like showers, don't you?

Couple of days til next update :)

Twilight, as always, belongs to the one and only Stephenie Meyer~

Ch 9: Falling and Fallen

Bella.

Alice had declared casual dress for this party which was a relief. I eyed up my reflection in the mirror. I was perfectly comfortable living in my jeans and t shirts but it drove Alice nuts.

Alice bought this shirt for me last year and I had never worn it. The deep blue material looked fantastic against my skin and the v-neck exposed the skin between my breasts. I turned sideways in the mirror inspecting the jeans I had paired it with. Though I hadn’t gained much weight; my womanly attributes were most certainly more pronounced than they had been a few years ago.

After a moment of staring at my ass, I laughed out loud. I really needed a boyfriend to be doing that for me. Passing up my worn sneakers, I grabbed my black ankle boots and a warm coat. It was still cool outside even though the snow had melted off last month.

I tried not to think about Emmett or any of the weirdness that happened last week. I had a strange feeling, something unsettling, I couldn’t place it. I sighed and sang along to my Ipod to distract myself. It’s just a party and a small one at that. Alice had promised Emmett that it would be kept small.

Emmett surprised me when he put his two cents in stating that if there was going to be drinking we would have to make plans to stay over. He left no room for argument. I let it go figuring since Alice would be there it would be at least bearable.

I knew Angela would be there and Ben, too. They had been dating since grade school. Angela was a sweet girl and came off shy to strangers. Ben got on great with Jasper and Alice thought it would help Jasper feel more comfortable to have him there. Emmett was supposed to pick Rose up in Forks and bring her back to his place for our surprise. .

I’d offered to help Alice decorate but she declined. Alice figured out a few years back she is better off doing things like that herself. She is a control freak but at least she recognizes it. Every time Rose or I would attempt to help, Alice she would end up shooing us away. It was fine by me, decorating wasn’t my thing.

When I got up to Emmett’s apartment I found Alice arranging helium balloons in the living room. She had streamers and bits of aluminum confetti tossed about on all the open surfaces. The breakfast bar, between the kitchen and living room, was filled with trays of crackers and dips and cold cuts with a variety of cheeses. Alice showed me the coat closet where I stashed my things then we headed to the kitchen. When I came around the corner I was feigned shock. There must have been over a hundred dollars in hard liquor on the counter. Alice always over did things.

“Are you sure you have enough, Ali?” I teased her. She giggled and I added, “You really shouldn’t have bought all that.”

“Meh, we will go through it eventually, even if its not tonight. Now, let’s get your makeup done.” Alice grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom. My pixie friend looked like she had just stepped out of a teen magazine. She was wearing a short, black pleated shirt and a short sleeve white button up tied in a knot at her waist. Knee high stockings, a wide, bright red belt and a pair of red Mary Jane’s completed her look.

I held still while Alice brushed and rubbed and blotted my face. I didn’t usually wear make-up, not a lot anyway. A little shadow and mascara was all I would bother with for school and some days I didn’t even do that. Alice was able to work magic with makeup, though. She was a true artist. I could never get eye shadow to look the same as it did when she was holding the brush.

Fifteen minutes later, she was done with me and was touching up her own face. Examining her work I smiled, she never ceases to amaze. My boring brown eyes were lined in chocolate velvet and the combination of shadow she used made my eyes smoky and seductive. She was really good.

“That top looks great on you Bella,” Alice praised me, “You should wear it more often.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled looking down at my exposed skin. This bra is great, I smirked.

“You need a boyfriend, Bella.” Alice said as if she were telling me I needed to pick up a gallon of milk at the store.

Sometimes, I swear she can read my mind but that would have been impossible: she was just hyper sensitive to the vibe around her. She had a knack for being objective and observant which of course would allow her to draw certain educated conclusions.

Little did she know how much I agreed with her. There was no one around Forks I was attracted to though. The last date I had gone on was with Seth. Seth was a nice guy but towards the end of dinner he began acting really uncomfortable. When he dropped me off he made no move to hug me or otherwise and didn’t say anything about going out again. He didn’t even say he was going to call me later and he didn’t. I wasn’t that bad of company so I don’t really know what his problem was but whatever, life goes on.

“Who all is coming tonight?” I changed the subject.

“Angela and Ben will be here and Nikki and Rob. Jasper should be here anytime.” Alice pulled her phone from the small pocket hidden in the pleats of her skirt. Checking for missed calls she licked her wicked red, painted lips and I giggled.

Alice sighed. “I really like him.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I talked to Jasper at school and I liked him but this would be the first time I’d ever seen them together.

“Cool, well it will be fun to hang out with him,” I offered.

As if on queue, the buzzer rang and Alice scurried out off the bathroom to open the doors downstairs. Casting one last look in the mirror I decided it didn’t really matter how sexy I looked, I didn’t have a date, so sexy eyes and pouty lips would get me no where.

Angela and Ben had arrived at the same time as Jasper and they all came upstairs together. Alice hit play on her Ipod she jacked into Emmett’s stereo earlier and was handing out beer to the guys.

Angela was like me; she didn’t drink much. She was a quiet girl and very sweet. Ben was quiet too, always the soft spoken gentleman. They were quite the pair. I knew later Angela would have a few drinks.

Just as I finished greeting Angela and Ben the buzzer went off again and Alice skipped off leaving us in the living room .

“It’s crazy that Rose is already making plans to move in with Emmett,” Angela was chattering at me. “Seems like we were all freshman not too long ago and now Rose already has plans for after graduation.”

“I know, huh, Rose knows what she wants though.” I tried to sound positive. Too close to the subject of Emmett I turned the conversation back on her. “Have you made any plans? I mean, after graduation?”

“Ben and I have both applied to a few colleges. We have decided wherever we go, we will go together. Neither of us wants to live in dorms. We are going to look for an apartment off campus when we get accepted somewhere.” She finished almost dreamily and for some reason it soured my stomach. Her romance was a tad too storybook for my taste but I was glad she was happy.

Alice skipped back into the room followed by Nicole and Rob. Nicole was in my English class and PE and Rob sat in the back of Chemistry. I wasn’t close to Nicole but Alice was. Nicole was never around; since freshman year she was always off with her boyfriend, Rob. They were a bit obsessed with each other. Rob could care less about school and was extremely laid back. He was up for anything. Nicole was quite the opposite. She was smart as hell and excelled in all her classes. Like Rob she was open to just about anything but she was a control freak similar to Alice where he was content to sit back and let her lead him around.

I bet she ties him up, I made myself blush at the thought.

Nicole volunteered to handle drinks. Her mom was a bartender and Nicole knew a lot of cool drinks that most of us had never heard of. Usually, Nicole wouldn’t make drinks for the bigger parties Alice would throw, it was too much work. For this small get together we had going on, she said she didn’t mind, and Alice squealed excitedly.

It didn’t take much to get Alice to squeal; I glanced in Jasper’s direction and felt the heat returning to my cheeks. I really needed to stop that.

Sitting on the leather couches in the living room, the topic of conversation was Tyler Crowley and the mystery of what really happened with or to him. He hadn’t been in school today and the rumors were running wild. He killed someone. He got a DUI. He robbed a bank. Small towns were incredible for rumors, gossip and misinformation.

Alice jumped like a bee had stung her and whipped her phone from her small pocket. “They are here!” she dashed across the room to lower the volume on the stereo while waving her phone in the air. We all sat quietly until we heard the door swing open.

“SURPRISE!” We stayed in our seats on the couches and loudly greeted Rose. There was no jumping out from behind furniture or anything cheesy like that.

Rose startled in shock and her face paled. As it registered what was happening, the corners of her mouth twisted up. Alice bounded across the room and wrapped her arms tightly around Rose.

“What are we celebrating?,” Rose ask Alice who still clung to her arm.

Alice beamed. “You, silly, and Emmett, of course.” Alice batted her eyes at Emmett who was watching Rose’s reaction with a goofy grin.

Rose shook her head and smiling brightly greeted everyone. Alice turned the music back up and after getting an idea of what everyone had a taste for Nicole went to mixing drinks. Emmett moved to the back of the room and swung open an ornately carved cabinet on the wall. I hadn’t noticed it before. Ben, Rob and Jasper quickly joined him when he revealed the dart board inside.

Alice and Angela were engrossed boy talk so I went to see if Nicole needed any help in the kitchen. I dint know anything about mixing drinks but at least I could keep her company. “Hey, Nicole, need a hand?” I offered gesturing to the counter full of bottles and glasses.

“Sure,” she replied cheerfully. “Can you grab ice out or the freezer and fill the blender to here,” she pointed to the line on the pitcher. “Oh, and call me Nikki,” she winked at me “I’m trying to ditch the whole Nicole thing.” She made a face. I chuckled and nodded and busied myself in the ice compartment while she ran a round of shots and beer out to the guys.

When she returned, she went straight to work assembling drinks for us girls. Alice wanted something with rum and a lot of coconut in it. I watched Nikki expertly craft her drink. It reeked; I could smell it from several feet away. Alice loved coconut; I hated it. Angela had requested a simple strawberry daiquiri which Im pretty sure Nikki could have made blindfolded. Nikki and Alice were both talented artists; it made sense that they got along as well as they did, even if Nikki wasn’t around much.

Rinsing the pitcher she turned to me, “It’s your turn. You said tequila or vodka and keep it light. No coconut.” She repeated my order back to me.

I nodded again. “Yeah, I’m not much of a drinker, they need to be light.” She laughed and turned to the freezer plunking more ice in the pitcher. I leaned against the counter out of the way and watched as she dropped a few strawberries and grenadine in the mix along with lemonade, tequila and vodka and a few other ingredients I couldn’t read from where I was. She was such a pro.

Pouring the frozen mixture in a tall glass and handing it to me, she waited for my reaction. She sure did put a lot of alcohol in, I eyed the glass speculatively. Knowing she was still waiting I brought the glass to my lips and tipped it up letting the cool slush spill onto my tongue.

It was amazing. “Mmmmmm,” I took a bigger drink. “That is so good Nikki, what is it called?” I took another drink. This was going to be hard to drink slow it was so good. The burn from the alcohol was countered by the cold of the ice and sweetened by the fruits and juices she used.

“It’s a Choking Sparkly Rocket.”

I snorted. People named drinks the craziest shit. But this was really, super good, I drank some more. Okay, pace your self Bella, I instructed myself. Nikki concocted another cool looking drink for herself that she called a Twilight Train Wreck. It was red on the bottom and black on top. After straightening up the kitchen we joined the others.

By the third round of drinks, Alice convinced Angela to dance with her to music that I hoped the neighbors weren’t finding offensive. Alice, without a doubt, made this play list with Rose in mind. The songs were all Rose’s favorites through the years. It was alright. Pop wasn’t something I listened to when I had a choice and Rose liked plenty of that but I didn’t mind when it was Katy Perry or Alanis Morissette.

The guys had become increasingly noisy playing darts in the back of the room and I guess Alice and Angela were feeling a bit lonely so they started dancing provocatively with each other trying to get their guys attention. Lacing their legs together, they were grinding in perfect time running their hands up and down each others sides. Nikki and I sat back and watched laughing.

It didn’t take but a few minutes for the guys decided to put their game on hold and they came to join us. Jasper and Ben cheered on the two girls who were now dry humping to the music in the middle of the living room. Rob sat on the couch and pulled Nikki in his lap. Nikki was whispering into his neck and from time to time she would nibble at his ear. The way his eyes were smoldering I knew she was up to no good. As a couple they were pretty hot. Nikki was stacked like Barbie and Rob was pretty damn sexy in his button down shirt and khakis.

Emmett joined Rose and I felt my heart warm when I saw how he looked at her. He slipped his arm behind her and pulled her close. She looked so happy. It was a huge turnaround from the Rose I had confronted in this very room last weekend. I felt a tinge of jealousy and brushed it aside.

Alice had us playing quarters since Rose didn’t want to play truth or dare, our regular drinking game. I wasn’t too bad at this game but I had long since lost track of how many shots I consumed. When we were all too drunk to keep playing the party moved back to the couches where Angela and Ban began a game of Jenga on an end table. Alice and Jasper were cuddled up together on one end of the loveseat having a quiet conversation that seemed to involve intermittent tickling and giggling.

Id been drinking for a few hours and I was completely drunk,walking sideways, clipping my hip on the counter top and ramming my shoulder into the door jam coming out of the bathroom I decided I needed some air. Glancing at Alice, I decided I didn’t want to disturb her so I told Nikki I was running to my truck for a minute and that I’d stick something in the door so I could get back in.

Stumbling out of the apartment, I realized in horror I faced three flights of stairs. Grumbling, I started down one foot at a time, taking care to hold on to the railing at all times. If I could get to my truck I could puff off the half joint I had tucked in my ashtray. It would help with the jitters and queasiness I had from the alcohol. Pot was great for nerves and tummy trouble. I noticed I smoked it more frequently when I was on my periods, too. It helped with cramps and made food go down easier when my stomach hurt too much. My period could be a real bitch.

Half way down the first flight I almost missed a step but had good hold on the railing and managed to catch myself before I went tumbling. I sat down for a minute on the step, my head spinning.

I didn’t like alcohol but Rose and Alice always had it around. Some days, Alice would even bring a flask to school filled with vodka. I always told myself before Alice drug me to every party, ‘I’m not going to get drunk’, but somehow I always ended up this way. I wished Alice would smoke pot more often; Rose wouldn’t even try it which was funny considering she drank like a fish and that is far worse for her.

Standing up, I started on my trek down the stairs again, feeling queasier by the minute. Two steps later, I knew I was doomed. I was going to be sick and at this rate I would never make it to my truck. Giving up I turned to go back up to the apartment and the toilet I was in need of.

My legs were so heavy; I found going up was harder than coming down. Catching my toe on the third step from the top, I toppled face first to the third floor with my feet still hanging over the top stair. On impact, I felt the first heave and managed to hold back. The stinging in my knees from the impact with the top stair was nothing compared to the bile burning holes in my throat.

I tried to get up but my stomach was ready to betray me with any movement. I was too unsteady to attempt standing up anyway and I knew it.

“Would you like some help?”

The calm male voice came from out of nowhere. I didn’t expect anyone to be around this time of the night. Jerking my head up I saw the guy who was with Emmett at school week before last.

No. No. No. I tried to stop it I really did but it was unstoppable. I felt the bile come first; then came the contents of my stomach. After heaving several times, it finally registered there was a stranger watching me puke my guts up on the carpet in the hall of Emmett’s apartment. Just as the embarrassment of what I had done began to set it, I felt the well lit hallway going dark. I was going to pass out. I had passed out before but never in a hallway in a puddle of my own vomit. On better occasions, I would simply close my eyes and let them roll back in my head welcoming the peace that is darkness. Nothing hurts when I am out and sleeping is the best way to escape.

This was not good. Rose was going to kill me. Looking in the direction of the stranger I open my mouth to say something but no sound came out. I saw him start toward me and then it went dark.


Edward.


I knew I should have gone away but knowing she would be down there made it impossible for me to leave. Listening to the party downstairs I couldn’t help revisit the same feelings of resentment I harbored toward my inner demon. I wondered, if I’d not been changed, would I have had similar parties? I was robbed of that life by a predator of the night. I resented the fact I couldn’t live like other guys my age. I couldn’t feel or experience things the way humans did; the way I should have before I was bitten. I was different; a freak. There were things I would never be able to do like drink alcohol and date.

I was able to trace her movement in the apartment below. The pattern of her heartbeat came second nature to me; I didn’t have to think about it to identify the source. There was only one Bella and there would never be another like her. I would follow her and protect her until the day her spirit moves on from this world. I had no doubt I would suffer great loss when she was gone. Humans don’t live long. I tensed at the thought.

What Bella did for me, even though she didn’t know it, was something I could never do enough to repay her for. In all my years I have never been drawn to one such as her. Sure there were women it was fun to watch but that grew old fast. Bella was different, from her scent to the taste of her blood.

‘Red honey,’ my inner demon chuckled. He was in rare form tonight.

The peace she provided me when I was near her was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my eternal existence. There is no value I can place on her life. As long as she breathes I will follow her.

Not being able to hear her thoughts didn’t bother me nearly as much as it used to. I was perfectly comfortable existing out of reach as long as she was close. Bella had an amazing effect on me. I no longer tried to understand it, I accepted it for what it was, something special. One of the gods must have taken pity on my pathetic existence and sent this mortal angel to offer me comfort, I had figured long ago. I knew it wasn’t true but it sounded good.

An angel sent just for me. Bella was my angel and she didn’t have a clue. Over the years, I had struggled to come to terms with myself and there were many nights the only solace I could find was in my spot outside her window.

It was almost two, when I heard the girl Nikki process that Bella was stepping out. I knew Bella was intoxicated by her clumsier than average movements and increased heart rate. Nikki was wrapped up in Rob and the ‘kinky fuckery’ she had planned for him when they got home. It crossed her mind that Bella was too drunk to go out but she quickly dismissed it thinking Bella was responsible enough to know if she could handle it. She didn’t know Bella very well.

With vampire stealth, I left my apartment and glided soundlessly down the flight of stairs separating my floor from Emmett’s. Standing out of sight on the last step I was able to peer around the corner to see her struggling on the stairs with her back to me. Part of me wanted to go to her but over the last few years I had gotten that under control. I mentally flipped my middle finger up and smiled at my inner demon.

I stayed where I was reasoning with myself that someone needed to keep an eye on her. She was not doing well, it only made sense to stay. She sat down and I heard her stomach gurgling. I could smell the liquor on her mingling with the strawberries that, had I been mortal, would surely have starred in my dreams. There is no sleep for vampires.

I knew she had changed her mind when she unsteadily got up and turned, teetering backwards. I resisted the urge to go to her again. The last thing I needed right now was another complication. Carlisle was already near the end of his rope with me, I justified my inaction. If she were to fall I knew I would save her; a fall down the stairs could possibly end her. I wouldn’t allow that to happen.
Silently, I encouraged her feet to plant solidly on the steps. Three steps from the landing her right foot betrayed her and not clearing the step her toes caught the edge of the stair. She fell forward onto the landing with a thud and a small groan. I flinched the moment she struck the ground. She will be bruised but at least she didn’t fall backward.

This would have been a good time to be able to read her thoughts. If she hadn’t been drinking I would have been able to rely on her body movements to indicate whether she was alright. She didn’t have any broken bones; I would have heard them snap of crack. She lay there face down for a minute, unmoving. I could see the rise and fall of her shoulders with each lung full of air she took.

Why did she do this to herself? Why would anyone do this to themselves? I don’t understand a lot of what humans do. I would have to ask Emmett although, I had never seen him this drunk. Bella pushed her body off the ground and pulled her knees beneath her so her feet were no longer dangling. She was wobbling, using her arms to brace the floor in front of her.

I don’t know what made me do what I did next. I stepped into view. Sometimes I think my human reflexes are to blame for these things I do that I can’t explain, I was human before I was vampire, after all.

Bella didn’t notice me. I wanted to help her. The girl who had brought me so much comfort over the last few thousand lonely nights was lying on the floor in front of me so weak and off balance she couldn’t stand on her own. She was helpless. I felt a tingle inside me where the beast resides. Yes, he was awake and watching, very carefully, biding his time, waiting for me to let my guard down..

I knew I had him beat down at least that far. He knew I had a good amount of self control. The time I spent tracking Bella around Forks, I had lots of practice teaching the beast his boundaries. I would not hurt the creature who provided me sanctuary when nothing else felt right.

My angel, my Bella.

More confident in my control than I should have been, I ignored the voice that was screaming ‘Noooooooo’ in my head.

Stepping forward and I looked to the mess of a girl in front of me and ask, “Would you like some help?”

Her head whipped up to me a bit too quickly; I watched her sway back and forth. She gazed at me for a minute taking me in. Her glassy eyes looked tired. I watched the familiar red color creeping up her cheeks as it always did when she was embarrassed.

I wanted so much to tell her she didn’t have to be that way with me. That she meant so much more to me and that I didn’t hold the stupid human things she did against her. It was no more her fault for being human than it was mine for being me.

I knew it coming before she did. I could hear the fluids bubbling and her stomach muscles contracting trying to rid its self of the toxins. Her head dropped and she held herself on all fours bracing against the unpleasant wave of nausea. Her body had made up its mind and decided it was time. After several large convulsions, her body ejected the nasty fluids all over the floor beneath her. Her heart was drumming in my ears and I could hear her erratic breathing. She looked up at me as if to answer at the same time her eyes rolled back and her body went limp.

I managed to slip my arm under her just before she landed in the disgusting mess below her. Slowly, I laid her to the side of the mess on the floor and looked to Emmett’s door. From the sounds on the other side Bella’s friend Alice had fallen asleep with her date on the couch. Emmett was busy going down on Rose in his bedroom and the other two couples were sprawled on the couches and floor too drunk to help themselves, much less Bella.

Bella looked so beautiful when she slept. Except for the obnoxious odor and the drool in the corner of her mouth, she was perfect. I shook my head trying to think. I couldn’t leave her like this. She needed help and couldn’t be left here.

If I take her to Emmett’s I will be questioned by four still too conscious drunks. In the morning, they would be able to swap notes and confirm my presence which would raise even more questions, especially if I were bringing Bella in unconscious.

The other option was to take her to my apartment. My beast purred like a kitten. I smacked him back to his cage in the corner of my mind.

I think he was doing a celebratory dance and showing off his victory moves but I was too busy lifting the girl gently off the floor without crushing her delicate human bones, to pay any attention to him. My complete disregard for him at the moment seemed to make him even happier. At least he was being good, I noted to myself sarcastically.

I could barely feel the girl in my arms. I cradled her carefully and moved fluidly up the stairs to my apartment. I laid her on the rug in front of the couch. Sitting her up I removed her shirt and she murmured against me. ‘Sleep’ is the only coherent word she spoke in a series of mumbles.

Laying her back, I slid down the zipper on her jeans. Sliding them gently, rocking her from side to side I managed to get them over her hips. My lack of experience undressing human girls in their sleep was evident and I did my best not to wake her. How would I explain this if she did? I mused. Checking her pulse and respiration I determined she was out for the night. Freeing her ankles of the jeans I dropped them on the floor with her shirt.

I stepped back to admire my work and the near nude girl lying on my living room floor. Her pale skin was sharp contrast to the black shag area rug Esme had chosen for this room. I crinkled my nose. She still smelled but it didn’t stop me from staring. This was the first time I’d been this close to her without her clothes. The curves of her legs and the fullness of her hips made my cock move. The silk panties she wore covering her prize were emerald green, the same shade as her bra I took note, my eyes traveling farther up her still body, lingering for a moment on her belly piercing.

I smiled, remembering when she got her belly jewel. She had snuck out of the house. It was dark so I was able to follow her. Alice had a friend who was going to pierce her nipples and she somehow convinced Bella it would be a good idea to come along and have her navel done. The guy who did it had a shop in Port Angeles. The store was closed when he let them in. It was all I could do not to bust in and rip the head off that guy as he pierced Bella right there in the storefront window. At first I was really angry that she had defiled her perfect body in that manner but it grew on me over time. Seeing her naked in the candle light of her room, sprawled on her bed pulling on her nipples while she pleased herself, the tiny jewel that adorned her belly twinkling in the light was an image I quite enjoyed as her orgasms would rock through her in waves.

When I reached the swell of her breasts and the milky valley in between, there was no denying my cock was hard. Threatening to burst the seams on my jeans, I slipped in to my bedroom and found a pair of sweat pants. Still hard as a rock, I gathered supplies from the bathroom and went back to where the angel lay sleeping on my floor.

Using a warm washcloth, I gently cleaned her face and wiped her mouth of any offensive residue. Rinsing it in the bowl of warm water I brought with me, I managed to wipe her knees off where the mess had soaked through her jeans and clean her hands. I patted her dry with a fresh towel every where I had washed, taking care not to come in contact with her skin. I had brushed her hip removing her jeans and she shuddered from the ice cold contact. Trying not to touch her was the hardest part. When I did have to touch her I made the contact as light and brief as possible.

With the foul odor removed, I cleared the bowl and towels and placed the clothes on the floor in a plastic bag. Picking Bella up off the floor, I placed her on the couch and covered her with a large bath towel. If I had been a human I would have had a bed and the warm cover of blankets to offer her but this would have to do. I lowered the lights and placed a small cushion under her head so she looked comfortable. A smile touched her lips and she sunk in to the cushions. Her hair fell to the side revealing her scar and I paused. My mark; it was the only blemish on her neck. Her pale skin was almost translucent in the dim lit room and the abrasions I had left on her milky skin seemed to glow.

Focusing my thoughts, I grabbed cleaning supplies and a bucket of warm soapy water and headed to the landing below to clean up the mess that had been left behind. It only took a few minutes as I moved at full speed. All that remained was a damp spot that would be dry by morning and would be completely unnoticeable.

The demon within was grinning like a Cheshire but that bastard knew I would not hurt her, so, what he was pleased with I had no idea. It might’ve had something to do with the fact I just kidnapped my unconscious mortal muse and she was lying practically naked in my apartment completely unaware of any danger.


I listened for Emmett downstairs. He’d fallen asleep along with the rest of the drunken couples. The best chance I had to get out of this situation was if Emmett woke before Bella did. I would have to wake him and maybe he or Rose could help me cover this up.

Rose was going to be pissed. Not with me, I still scared her. But she was going to kill Emmett because of me. Anything I did she didn’t like, she reamed him for. Working things out with Rose was going to take some time and this wasn’t going to help a damn bit.

Returning to my apartment, I washed up and went to check on Bella. She had turned on her side and curled into a ball bringing her knees up. Her thin, green bra strap had come loose off her shoulder and I caught site of a single rosy nipple that had been liberated from its nest. Slowly I approached her and with the lightest of touch ran my index finger in a circle around the tight bud. It hardened at my touch and I heard Bella’s inhale sharply. Pausing to make sure I didn’t wake her, I pulled the towel to her shoulder covering her.

I only had a few hours with this sleeping beauty and I planned on enjoying every minute I could. I grinned boyishly then groaned when my cock twitched again.

Slipping in to my room, I let the smell of strawberries flood my senses trying to ignore the bitter odor of alcohol laced in the heavenly scent I craved. My hand found its way to my cock and I began to stroke it firmly. Pushing my sweats and boxers down, I leaned back against the door frame leaving the door open, her scent flowing freely to me. Pumping hard and fast up and down my shaft with an iron grip I hissed out loud when my release came. No one had ever made me cum like her. Bella could make me cum in a matter of minutes.

Scolding myself for making noise in my moment of ecstasy, I did a quick check to make sure I hadn’t disturbed my charge. Satisfied my folly went unnoticed; I washed my hands and moved to sit in the arm chair next to the couch. I watched over the angel who had so unknowingly done so much for me.

Carlisle was going to be livid when he found out about this.


_____



AN:

Next update 2-3 days. Hope everyone had a great weekend. I’m betting Bella is going to feel like shit in the morning. Send me your thoughts on Edward;)

Twilight is Meyer’s

Choking Sparkly Rocket is Nikki’s ♥