Ch 3: Red Honey

~Five Years Earlier~

Cathedral Grove, British Columbia

Edward.

I could smell her before I saw her, strawberries. The food of mortals was far from interesting to me. My throat began to burn. What the hell?, get it together, I thought. I hadn't had a thirst for a mortal being in almost a century and even then it was the newborn in me, thirsting for blood, not strawberries.

I moved silently through the matted forest. It was at least 10 miles from the nearest cabin. Inhaling the air, the smell swirled about me and a low growl escape from my chest. Was she alone? I smelled nothing except strawberries. I heard a broken sob where I sat in the dark. My chest tightened in response.

Moving to the nearest tree I bounded up the side. Jumping from branch to branch without a sound except the whisper of the foliage as it recoiled from the strain of my weight. The scent grew stronger and overwhelmed my senses. I felt a stirring on the inside I couldn't quite place and venom pooled in my mouth. I had just eaten this really wasn't necessary, I chided myself. There were things I detested about being this cold demon: I was more animal than human by far. Sometimes, those animal instincts would kick in and I had to fight for control which was something it took me decades to accomplish.

There were some aspects of being this monster that I really enjoyed. Being able to smell and see for miles, the agility, and the sheer strength. Feeding was a less pleasant time for me. It reminded me of what I am. All these decades and you would think I would have come to terms with my existence. I was never anything more or less than what I had been made. A monster: a blood-sucking leech, a vampire.

Her breathing was shallow and she had stopped moving. I could hear her heart beating rapidly. Her breathing was erratic. Strange. I could smell fear on the air.

Surely, she was another lost hiker, not uncommon in these parts. We had almost reached the rim of the canyon and soon she will run out of forest and have to turn back. 'No one will find her if something were to happen.' I ignore this. I will always be a filthy bloodsucker with animalistic urges but I wouldn't have to act on them, not today and I didn't plan on it anytime in the future.

Perching on a towering red cedar, I saw her for the first time. I drew in a quick breath on reflex. My soulless body had a mind of its own today, I chuckled to myself fighting the guttural urges I was having. 'Closer,' the beast within urged.

'No,' my common sense argued.

I moved closer.

The heavy scent of strawberries filled my nostrils. I shut it off. I didn't need to breathe it in. I didn't need to breathe at all. My throat was burning in waves, the sensation pulsating, coursing through my still, cold veins. I swallowed back the thick venom that had pooled in my cheeks. 'Closer.'

Somehow restraining myself at the moment proved more difficult than it had in years. Who the hell was this child to test me like this? Why does being near her have this effect on me? She has absolutely no idea what she does to me, stupid human.'

'Stop it,' I growled to myself. This inner struggle was going to piss me off. I have more control than this. I glared at the girl below who seemed to be going somewhere and nowhere at the same time. She moved with determination but had to be one of the clumsiest humans I had ever encountered.

She was upset, distressed. I could sense it and I could see it. The tears that stained her face left dirty tracks down her pale, ruddy cheeks. Her left shirt pocket was torn and she had mud on her hands, shirt and knees. Her brown hair was tangled and danced wildly just below her shoulders. She was young, a child.

I listened for her thoughts. Nothing. How can that be? Moving to a new tree as she moved clumsily forward I tried to focus on her mind. Still nothing. What the hell? 'She is brain-dead, take her. Move closer.' I screamed inwardly at the monster. 'Shut the fuck up!'

I had to know. What about this slight gangly girl made her mind blank to me. Why couldn't I hear her. What power does she possess that could possibly stave off mine? Or, am I losing my mind finally, after all this time? Closer. I moved the closest I had been yet to about 15 feet above her as she broke through the tree line at the edge of the forest.

'She is alone. She smells so good; her blood even sweeter.'

Sometimes I really hate myself. Times like these. I hate what I am. I hate what's inside me. I hate what's missing.

Reaching the edge of the deep abyss she stopped. The Rockies are a rugged. The mountains are tall and the canyons are deep. Its wild here and virgin. Too dangerous for a girl this young to be so far out and all alone. I felt the hair prick at the back of my neck and I swallowed another mouthful of sticky venom.

I watched curiously as the little girl sat down on the edge of the cliff, dangling her feet off the edge. For as clumsy as she is she is either brave, stupid or suicidal, I concluded.

She was rocking back and forth humming a lullaby of sorts. I couldn't place the tune. Perhaps it was something her mother sang to her. Again, I tried and again, I still could not hear her thoughts. I let out a frustrated growl. This was pointless. I was ready to leave but I couldn't. I stayed in place watching the child rocking her self back and forth humming on the precarious ledge. I knew I should go. Whatever this humans business was it had nothing to do with me. It was my contribution to the world around me: to co-exist with humans without interfering. It's harder than you would think.

We stayed like this for several hours. She rocked and hummed and I watched.
I wondered what happened, where she had come from and what she was thinking. It was driving me nuts not to be able to read her. I was anxious to find another human. I needed to see if I was somehow losing my abilities. Every so often, I would draw in the scent of strawberries. My inner monster would rear its head with dark thoughts and I would shove them to the back of my mind from whence they came.

I watched as the girl set her shoulders back and rose to her feet, standing inches away from certain death should she stumble. She half turned and looked back over her shoulder. Her chocolate eyes were red from crying and reflected more pain than a child should know.

I felt rage boil within me. If I had blood it would have been surging through me. Where was this child's parents? Why is there no one here to protect here? Humans can be so cold, I chuckled at the irony of that statement. Did no one love this child that smelled of strawberries? Did no one care?

I moved with such speed it was not possible for the mortal to detect me. 'Closer.'

The girl turned back to face the canyon from the ledge. From my new vantage point, I got a good look in her eyes. Fear. Anger. Resentment. Desperation. Determination.
'Shit! She is going to jump.' I was torn and had a fraction of a second to decide. If I interfere she will see me. She will become a danger to me and my kind. She will have to be killed. And, who knows what kind of life she had to return to if this is where it has led her in the first place. But, she is just a girl, and a really good smelling girl at that. 'If she is going to die anyways….' my inner demon goaded me.

As her body listed forward I sprang from my hiding place. I had almost waited too long to move. When I did it was more on reflex than a conscious decision. I grabbed her ankle gingerly as not to crush her delicate human bones. Her body went over the edge and I could hear her small frame slam into the bank. She went limp.

She didn't weigh anything. With one hand I pulled her up back to safety, guiding and protecting her limp body with my other. I didn't save her to drag her over the sharp rocks and roots that stuck out from the ledge. I caught the scent of blood, quickly exhaling, I cradled her n my arms. My throat was just oozing with fire and venom.

Moving away from the precipice of her demise I laid her down in the soft moss near the tree line. She was out cold. And bleeding. The delicious odor radiated from a scrape just above her collarbone and another small nick on her shoulder and decent gash on her temple. The blood stained the material covering her shoulder. Her breathing was low and shallow. Too shallow. 'She will die,' the demon ebbed me on.

I licked my lips. Despite my efforts to not succumb I drew in a lung full of strawberries and blood. It was good, better than anything I had before. Like fruit and honey to a mortal man. Leaning forward I touched her temple where a small trickle of her sweet blood was running from the gash disappearing in to the hair just above her ear.

Touching my finger to the hot, red substance I collected from the small stream.

Stroking her cheek with my left hand I was entranced. It didn't feel real, like I was in a dream just waiting to wake. Vampires don't sleep; it was just that surreal. Still stroking her cheek, I brought the small smear of blood that now stained my finger to my lips.

Heaven: I found heaven. The taste of blood rocked me. 'Her blood,' the beast echoed. I hadn't tasted human blood in almost 90 years. It was divine. I stared into the child's face. Her breathing was so shallow it barely moved her chest. 'She won't make it much longer.'

I know better. I am better than this. My finger with a mind of its own collected another sample from the beading, red stream. Again, I sucked and licked the residue greedily from my finger. 'Good, so good.' Leaning closer with my nose nearly touching her flesh I flicked out my tongue touching the source of my temptation. As if an animal with a conscious, I pulled the girl up and cradled her in my arms; her head on my shoulder and the scent of her blood filling my nostrils.

The fire in me was physically painful and I had not felt pain for many years. It hurt. It was as if all the flames of hell were consuming me. I was ravenous with appetite I had never known before. I was thirsty. Thirsty for strawberries and sweet, red honey.

Dipping my head down, the primal urge to give up on control completely raged within me. I was on fire. It hurt. My entire body was cramped and I could not move. 'More.'

Her mortal head fell away from me exposing her creamy white neck. The scrape on her collar bone sang to me. 'So sweet, so innocent, so pure.' Before I realized what I was doing, I was raking my teeth against her neck scuffing the surface, causing blood to rise in red lines on her skin. 'The heart is weak', the monster noted.

It had me. I was losing control. I couldn't stop. I raked my teeth once more across her flesh focusing on the large deep vein that ran down her neck. Preparing for penetration, I was ready to purge my thirst. 'It's who you are, some things can't be helped.' Slave to the voice I steadied myself above her sweet spot and closed my eyes. I no longer had a choice in this, maybe I never did. 'Go on, no one cares for her, no one will miss her, she is nothing.'

I snarled loudly and lept from my position on the ground, tossing the body to the ground and it hit with a thud. I landed 20 feet away and turned to pound my fist into the nearest inanimate object. My fist slammed into a large tree. Cracking and splintering wood and the sound of impact when my force hit the tree echoed through the woods. There was a great whooshing noise and as if it had been struck by lightening the tree fell into the forest behind it, taking anything in its path down too.

Control. Control. Control. I don't have to be this way. I have control over this. I can do this.

'You can't.'

'I can,' I snarled out loud. The force behind my voice carried on the wind through the impressive canyon.

I am not THAT monster. And I DO care. Dizzy from the come-down my insides were shaking and I felt off balance, sick to my stomach. Nothing that would be visible from the outside however, vampires were not built with weakness in mind. We are killing machines. But some of us, some of us have learned to live without preying on humans. This lifestyle choice was not how I was raised but it was what I learned in time, thanks to Carlisle, to live being the monster that I am, stuck for eternity with some sort of a conscience.

I had to get out of here. I had to get her out of here. She would not die here, not today. And when she did die, it would not be by me. These words rang true and I clung to them with what shred of sanity I had left. Snatching up her listless body, I carried her under my arm by her mid section her head and feet dangling. I growled, loudly this time and away we went.

I was angry. I was rough. I ripped bark from the nearest tree as I launched us forward to two more trees causing permanent damage to the century old giants each time. I knew where I was going. I knew she needed medical attention, Cathedral Grove and Carlisle.

I paused. Something wasn't right. Letting go of the tree I landed on the ground and flipped the girl around in my arms. Her eyes were closed and she was still dripping. Too hard, I berated myself. If I continued like this I would surely snap her neck before we were halfway there. Groaning I gathered her up in my arms and flew by foot in the direction of help.


Carlisle.


"I love you," I whispered into her hair. I loved our last embraces before I left for work every morning. She smelled just as beautiful today after all these years as she did the day I met and fell in love with her. There was no happier moment in my immortal life than the moment we have first bonded. I cannot imagine life without her and I cherish every day we are together. I always will. From this day forward to eternity and beyond as long as this woman will have me.

I gazed adoringly down at my wife. Another lingering kiss and I left.

I enjoyed the drive to work. The air here in Canada is so invigorating and the mountains provided large wild game for sustenance. I also got to drive my jeep, I grinned. I would happily have lived here year round if the weather had permitted. We had a good life in Seattle. I worked at the Children's Hospital and Esme, my darling wife volunteered at various charities. She would get a notion in her head there should be a children's library in some hospital ward and before you know it there would be one under construction.

I knew who the major contributors were even though we never spoke of it. Roaming the Earth as long as I have gives one the ability to make quite a deal of money, if done right. Our houses weren't extravagant but they were nice. We had gotten good at blending in.

The sky was dark today and I could feel a change in the pressure. It would rain today.
Arriving at the hospital I was working at for the next month, I locked the car and headed to my office. This was something I enjoyed. My acute senses allowed me insight where other doctors couldn't complete. I had risen to the top of my field in just a few years. Now we travel where needed by the seasons. Constantly moving helps cover up for the fact we don't age.

"Morning, Emma," I smiled at the nurse behind the counter.

"Morning, Dr. Cullen," she smiled back and resumed charting.

I grabbed the first of my charts for the morning and headed to my office. The day went as expected with a few straggling colleagues stopping in to welcome me on board and as usual a few giggling nurses. It's not like I couldn't hear them from across the room building. They had let up a bit today, I noted. When I started at the beginning of the week the girl talk was non-stop until the time I left.

I enjoyed helping children. I had always wanted children but that is not possible. Edward is the closet thing I have to a son. And even he is scarce these days. Shaking off those thoughts I continued seeing patients through the day. Seven o'clock came and I was half way to the car when I heard my name in an urgent snarl. Edward.

He was near, "Over here," I answered him back loudly but in a voice only a vampire could hear. Something similar to a whisper one might hear when wind blows thru a tree but much quieter. There was something in his tone that alerted me something was wrong.

He arrived within seconds. "There is a girl…" he paused, not winded as that would not be possible he was searching for words, "You have to help her. Make sure she is alright. She should be coming in any time now." He had me by the arm and was pulling me back toward the double doors I had just exited.

"Edward, you have to tell me more, son."

I watched him flitch. Shit, I shouldn't have called him that. He isn't ready. I'm trying so had to be patient with him. I hurt too. I hope someday he can overcome his issues and realize I do love him as my son and he will always be family to us. I sighed and matched my so-, Edward's pace. I quickly sent a text to Esme that I would be later than I thought and I would call again when I could.

Glancing around the emergency room Edward seemed satisfied that the person he was looking for wasn't there. I still had no clue what was on this boy's mind. He needed to get a hold of himself. I took note of the brilliant red outlining his otherwise golden eyes. He didn't look well. We retreated to my office.

"I need to know what this is about. You know whatever person comes through those doors I am more than willing to treat. I want to know who is coming through those doors, why they are coming and what it has to do with you." I shook my head at the stubborn boy. It was hard to see him as anything but with his reckless lifestyle.

Esme and I had long talks about his future. A century does not make a vampire old, merely a toddler in the vampire world. That is when we had taken Edward in, just after her started to toddle. We were successfully in getting him to give in to our life of mingling with the innocents without killing them. At first he wasn't too keen on the blood of animals but he warmed to it over time.

"A girl, I found her in the forest. She tried to, to kill hers- ..jump. Shit, Carlisle she was going to throw herself off the damn ridge!" Edward jammed his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

There was something he wasn't telling me. I waited.

After a long pause Edward continued, " I caught her and pulled her back up. I didn't move fast enough and she got hurt. She is unconscious and didn't see me." He looked away quickly. There was more. There was always something more with Edward.

I heard a commotion downstairs and knew someone had just been brought in, a young girl. Edward heard it too and he started for the door. I put my hand on his arm to stop him, "Stay here."

"But, the dog-…"

"If you want me to go down there you will stay here," I cut him off. The heartbeat downstairs was so faint. I didn't need him getting in the way.

It wasn't until I was downstairs that what he said registered. And I knew exactly what he was talking about. I could smell it. Dog.

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AN:
I'm loving this and I hope my readers are too! I may not update for another day or so have that 'real life' to tend to. I will have another chapter up in the next couple of days I promise.

Twilight is not mine. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She is amazing.