Ch 7: The Perch

Edward.

“We love you, Edward. We want what’s best for you,” Carlisle’s voice was soft. I knew he and Esme were concerned.

It had been five years since I first encountered Bella. My adopted family knew I had gone through a bad spell after finding her in Canada. I guess they assumed that over time I had gotten over it, although five years is hardly the blink of an eye.

What they didn’t know was I had been traveling to Washington to see her. For six months after saving Bella, I was pretty much unbearable to live with. I smiled thinking of how patient Esme had been with me every time I would smash my room up. Carlisle would get so mad about the holes and broken furniture. Esme liked to have a reason to redecorate so I don’t think she minded half as much as he did.

At first, I only visited her every few weeks. With my speed, I could get from our home in the secluded Canadian woods to Forks, Washington in a few hours. I would hold off as long as I could before thoughts of her would consume me. I’d lie for hours staring into nothing, thinking of nothing but strawberries and the red honey I craved. The amount of time I could bear away from her was becoming less and less. The monster inside was constantly pushing me to get ‘closer’. Sometimes it was a faint whisper; sometimes it was a blood curling scream. I hunted my way to her house. It was more difficult to control my urges if I hadn’t fed.

It was just over three years ago I took up residence in nearby Port Angeles. I found a modest little apartment. I haven’t always liked to mingle with people but when you have lived as long as I have you get bored. Carlisle is always trying to get me to find my direction but I really didn’t know what he expects me to do. I’m a soulless bloodsucking monster. And I am alone. Carlisle, having Esme, would never understand my emptiness.

I don’t remember my change or anything leading up to it. In fact, I don’t remember much before Carlisle and Esme took me in and taught me the way of control. That’s when my ability to read the thoughts was discovered. As a newborn, I was only motivated to feed. How many humans I have killed I have no clue. My thoughts then, were incoherent. It wasn’t until Carlisle helped me that I was able to clear my mind enough to think for myself. We don’t know how many years I spent lurking in shadows waiting for night to come so I could hunt out and drain an innocent.

I traveled to Africa once, I thought back sourly on the memories. Carlisle knew of a clan there that lived like we do, gaining sustenance from the blood of animals rather than feeding on the innocents. It was just after the incident with Bella and Carlisle thought maybe a change of scenery would help. There was a lot of large game in Africa and it was a good distraction. I spent day after day hunting, targeting the largest prey I could find, gorging myself.

Soon that was not enough.

In the clan I was staying with there were two sisters, Kamaria and Marjani. Neither had a mate and both of them were constantly flaunting themselves in front of me. When I had been hunting I was able to let the monster loose and it kept me from thinking of her. I relied on primal instinct and slaughtered my way across the tundra, sometimes to feed, sometimes for sport.

Returning from a three day killing spree, I caught sight of myself in the mirror on the way to my room. I was covered in blood from the different animals I had attacked, my clothes torn. I was disgusting. I took a shower. Back home I wasn’t a messy eater. I’d had so much energy I was trying to expel; sometimes I got carried away on these long hunts.

I knew they were in my room waiting for me. I walked out of the bathroom, towel slung around my waist. Kamaria and Marjani both lay on my bed naked. Kamaria was twisting on Marjani’s nipples as Marjani rubbed between her sisters wide spread legs. After they were sure I had seen enough they both rose off the bed and one on each side of me coaxed me down. I don’t know if I was still harboring un-expelled adrenaline from the hunt or if the ridiculous amount of flirting and teasing that caused me to give in.

I fucked the both of them for hours, against every surface in the room in every position. There were craters in the walls and busted floorboards and claw marks everywhere. Any piece of furniture that had been previously intact was now splintered and laying in matchstick piles about the room. We fucked and fucked and fucked. It was raw and dirty and animalistic.

Eventually the girls grew weary and left in search of food to energize themselves. I looked around the room surveying the damage. In the furious fuck fest that had just happened here one of the sisters managed to shred the footboard to the bed with her razor sharp toe nails while I was buried deep in her throat. I forget which sister was which, I really didn’t care, the other was riding my face and did the same to the headboard. When the bed hit the floor I jumped up throwing the one on my face off me and fucked her ass so hard her head left a large hole in the wall. She loved it. She begged for more while her sister was sucking and biting her tits. Whores.

I had spied my watch in a pile of shredded wood that used to serve as the footboard to my bed. I examined it for damage and seeing it only needed a new band I was relieved. Esme had bought this for me years ago. I flipped it over and read the engraving, Amor Vincit Omnia.

Looking around the room again, I caught my reflection on a fragment of mirror that had somehow become embedded in the wall. Loathing and disgust welled in me. I didn’t belong here. This is not what or who I am, or want to be. With an anguished growl, I leapt through the open window. I raced across the open tundra passing by lions and herds of gazelle. I flew over the ground with such speed I left a trail of dust across the open grasslands.

I knew where I needed to be, home, back to Esme and Carlisle. Esme, of course, was delighted to see me on my return; Carlisle greeted me warmly despite his doubts about my sudden return. Reading his thoughts I knew he had received word of my hasty departure and the state in which I left things. Not long after my return, I started going to see Bella.

I grimaced, filthy, stalking bloodsucker. Condemned to spend all eternity as a monster, never being able to completely squelch the hunger, to never be granted sleep, it was a cruel life. No heart, no soul, my skin cold, pale and hard. I spent years loathing what I had become. That all changed when I was close to her.

For as much as I craved the sweet red honey that coursed through her, for the first time I can remember in my existence I could appreciate certain aspects of my vampire talents. I was pleased to have the abilities to observe her undetected. I felt better about myself when I was near her.

I sat in my living room watching Esme and Emmett talking to Rose. I can’t say that I am capable of love being my heart is cold and still as stone. However, I do care for my family, Carlisle, Esme…. and Emmett. Why I chose to save his ass I don’t know. Most likely for the same reason I saved my muse from killing herself. Unfortunately, of the two humans I have saved in my life, I haven’t made up for those I have slaughtered nor have I managed to save anyone without screwing up and risking exposure of myself and my clan.

When I moved in to this apartment, Emmett was the first person to say hi to me. He invited me out for a beer and to shoot some pool. I declined at first, claiming I had things to do but after watching him the next few weeks I decided I liked him and I invited him out to play darts. He drank beer and threw a mean game. I, of course, having the super-human advantage would throw an off dart every so often. We went out a few times and it was always just us when we did. The more I got to know him the more I liked him. I had been invited out other times when he was with a group of friends but wasn’t interested in meeting new people.

Too much human interaction leaves a lot of room for something to go wrong.

I had just returned from Forks and was entering a residential area so I took to the rooftops. Sometimes, the way humans moved so slow was irritating to me. Jumping from roof to roof is a much faster way to travel than on foot. I had a car but it’s, for the most part, just for looks. I prefer to travel off the ground.

As I approached the apartment building, I could hear sounds of humans in the alley. There was a struggle of some sort going on. I was unimpressed with the way human fought with each other. I heard several profane phrases coming from the mouths of several men who were obviously drunk. There were five of them total, I surmised from the number of heartbeats I could hear.

Drawing closer, I heard a familiar voice bellow out, “FOUR OF YOU FUCKERS AND YOU AINT GOT ME DOWN YET, YOU PUSSY FUCKS!!” As I looked down over the edge of the roof I saw Emmett surrounded by four grown men. It wasn’t good. He had blood everywhere and a few broken ribs too, it appeared, the way he was listing to one side.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity-fuck. Unable to defend himself on all four sides simultaneously, he was taking some harsh blows to his fragile human form. Then, the third man on Emmett’s left rear that sealed the fate of him and his comrades forever. I heard him think it before he reached down and grabbed a 4’ long steel pipe lying in the alley. Raising it over his head, he prepared to deal a lethal blow to the base of Emmett’s skull.

Without hesitation, I landed in the alley in a crouch position, cracking the concrete beneath me, launching myself at the drunk with the pipe. Emmett startled, had turned to look at me, confused by my sudden appearance, as did two of the other men. I knocked the third man to the ground with the force of my weight letting my body sink into him. Crushing his rib cage I could hear internal organs bursting open as the now fractured ribs shredded them.

The fourth man who had not seen my decent from the rooftop, made the fatal error of trying to save his friend. In retrieving the discarded metal pipe that went flying as I crushed his friend, he hit me across the back of my head as hard as he possible could. Feeling the feather like touch of the pipe I turned to him, smiling and baring my teeth in the throes of adrenaline. Staring into my eyes, he was frozen. I could smell him urinating on himself. I took two steps forward, the only distance that separated me from him.

I slid the pipe from his still hand and hissed in his face. The three attackers just stood there staring at me in shock. It was time for them to go. I would not kill them, I had thought, having to dispose of one body was enough. I glanced at Emmett. This was going to be a long night, I grimaced. The moment I spared in Emmett’s direction had given the second drunk time to get what little wit he had about him.

The devil has come for us, he whined pitifully in his head, God is seeking his vengeance. I was briefly amused by the thought of a vampire doing God’s work. I couldn’t laugh though, not with the thoughts I was hearing. Little human girls, crying, begging, pleading, I could hear the details of his thoughts as he thought back to every young girl he had harmed. He was thinking of his friends and how they had gang raped a 14 year old they had picked up out side of Seattle.

The girl had blond hair and blue eyes and she was slightly chunky for her age. The mental image of these sick bastards before me as they had their way with her, laughing the entire time made me sick. He was thinking how he had slit her throat and left her to rot in the woods miles off the road so her remains would not be found. Still staring at me, his eyes bugged out his head when he realized I was no longer paying attention to anyone in the alley but him.

In what was mere mortal moments, I had killed one human and processed more thoughts than these sick sons of bitches would ever accomplish in their entire lives. The three drunk men began backing their way quickly out of the alley. ‘Jesus fucking Christ, he killed Dale!” I heard one of them exclaim as another one shouted ‘Lets get out of here!’

With speed too fast for the human eye, I moved in front of them and blocked the only way out of the alley. They tried to scatter but they were no match for me. Snapping the necks of the remaining three of the drunks I felt not an ounce of remorse.

I am the epitome of monster. I know what it is to be a killing machine designed to prey off the innocent. What those men did was sick and they needed to be extinguished. I gathered the bodies and dropped them in a dark corner until I returned later that night to dispose of them high on the mountains. Pausing to calm myself, I turned around slowly.

Leaning against the dirty alley wall Emmett’s eyes never left my face. He shook his head slowly. I watched and waited. His thoughts were trying to organize as he drew in every detail of what he just witnessed. He feared what he had seen, but he wasn’t afraid of me. Humans are so curious. I continued to wait.

In modern society there are rules that must be abided by, laws of the lands, laws of the people. There is also vampire law. All vampires are given rules to live by, handed down and enforced by the most powerful coven in the world, the Volturi. They are arrogant and ruthless but seldom interfere unless their laws are broken. Those who chose to defy the given laws were dealt with swiftly and without mercy.

In revealing myself to a human, I had broken the law. According to what is written as law, I should end him now but I could not do it. I walked over to him and slipped my arm under his before he could object. I could tell his was in a lot of pain by the way he was breathing. He stiffened and pulled back slightly.

“It’s alright, man,” I mumbled, “Let’s get you inside.”

That was the last time I killed a human. That was the night I saved Emmett’s life. That was the night Emmett saw me for what I really am. That night, I made the first real friend I ever had since being turned.

Now, watching him with Rose, I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous over the relationship they had. Rose was beautiful and smart and Emmett was prepared to risk anything and everything to keep her. Emmett knows too much about me and my life. If the Volturi ever got wind of it we would all be doomed. Even Esme would be charged with not coming to them when she found out I had broken the law. Instead, Esme, the closest thing I had to a mother, was here, trying to explain to Rose that vampires aren’t all bad.

Fuck. My. Existence.

I was the cause of this. I had inadvertently put my coven in danger again. Esme and Carlisle still lived in Canada but I was forever part of their coven, no matter how far I traveled. I could technically leave them for another coven, but that will never happen. The Cullen’s had done more for me than anyone else had bothered to and I will be forever indebted to them for that.

I hadn’t been to see Bella in days. Dealing with Rose, and with Esme visiting, there was no time to slip away unnoticed. I needed to feed before I went to her and there hadn’t been time.

Rose seemed to be coming around.

I had been in Forks when a fucking water pipe burst in my apartment and the manager had to have drywall and flooring crews come in for repairs. I offered to do the work myself but she blew me off. Emmett, being far more comfortable with my lifestyle now that he had known me a few years, told me to bring my personal belongings to his place and hang out there until they finished a few days later. Emmett knew it posed a problem to have strangers tromping in and out of my place.

Emmett had been in my apartment more than once and was thrilled when I would answer questions about myself. After the accident he had asked me why I didn’t drain the bodies of those I had killed. I explained to him how the blood would have been bitter for all the toxins in their system. The alcohol on top of the tobacco ruined it, tainted blood didn’t taste very good. He was doubtful when I told him I didn’t feed on his kind. I had popped open the small refrigerator in my bedroom and tossed him a translucent plastic bag filled with ox blood. ‘Dude, that’s nasty,” ha actually laughed as he tossed the bag of blood back at me.

I hated talking about myself. It seemed to make him more comfortable though, so I shared what I felt was safe for him to know. I knew I should talk to Carlisle about this new mortal friendship but I wasn’t sure how he would take it. This was new to me and I had no clue what I was doing when it came to sharing information with a mortal.

What neither of us had expected, was Rose. Emmett had been getting serious with this chick but he rarely brought her back to his place. Even though he was okay with me he wasn’t sure bringing his woman around me was a good idea. Emmett had given her a key, a key that he had forgotten about.

Rose had let herself in to Emmett’s apartment while we were gone. She had planned on setting up some romantic, girly shit. There were two boxes of pillar candles and two dozen roses left behind when she fled. I was in Forks and Emmett was visiting a friend of his up the street. Rose had discovered my stash of blood and freaked out. I suppose, to a human, it would be rather alarming to find a fridge filled with blood. No matter how much I would love to place the blame on the stupid human, it all came back to me. I had been careless and put people I care about in danger.

Rose and Emmett and Esme had been going at it for a few days now. Rose was warming up to Emmett who had been devastated when she wouldn’t talk to him. The poor guy had it bad and it was getting pretty serious before I got sloppy and screwed his life up.

He was a good friend to me and I was incapable of being an equally good friend to him. His life and that of his girlfriend were in grave danger because of me.

I am a monster destined to destroy those around me. Built to kill and destroy, it was my calling. I shook my head thinking of the hurdles a vampire must cross before mingling with the innocents. It was several decades before I was able to be around humans without working myself into a murderous frenzy. Even now, after all the extra discipline and precautions I failed miserably to keep those around me safe. There had been several incidents since the Cullen’s had taken me in, that Carlisle or Esme had to aid in cleaning up my messes.

Deeply absorbed in self loathing, I didn’t hear Esme talking to me. I had no trouble hearing the thoughts of others. My sight is a thousand times that of a human. Noise and scent I can pick up from a distance as well. Most of the time, I try to block out the constant assault on my senses.

When I was younger, I would find a comfortable place to sit in the remotest parts of the mountains. I could hear birds in the trees and deer rummaging the forest. Anything close to me would scatter sensing danger but if I unleashed a loud snarl the forest would go silent for miles.

She was thinking I needed to eat, I read her thoughts. I agreed. Feeding meant one thing. I would find my way to Bella. Rose was still very anxious around me and I don’t know why. She had taken to Esme right away. If it weren’t for Emmett, I would have been perfectly fine to just kill her and dump her somewhere off the beaten path.

I cringed, Carlisle had come unhinged when he found out I had killed and dumped four bodies the night I saved Emmett. It wasn’t like I had a choice. Carlisle saved lives, I destroyed them. But still, I wasn’t a sliver of the monster I was before I was a Cullen and we were vampires. How he could expect me to be anything except what I am confused me. I couldn’t live up to his standards; no matter what I did something would always go wrong.

I turned to leave the room and Rose’s voice stopped me mid-step. She had barely said a dozen words to me since she met me two days ago. “Edward-..” I could hear her take a shaky breath, “I’m sorry.”

What the fuck? What kind of sick joke is that? I spun around to look her in the face, furious. “I’m sorry?” I moved to her face so quickly Emmett and Esme had no time to stop me. “Sorry for what?” I hissed at her my nose just inches from hers. Esme moved to put her hand on my shoulder. I ignored her.

Rose’s face had drained of all blood and she looked about to pass out. “You should be sorry,” I continued to spew words vehemently in her face, “You are too stupid to see the danger that is in your face. I could remove your head in the time it would take you to blink. You sit here and pretend this will all work out, that you can live with this. Mark my words, what I can do to you is nothing compared to what the Volturi will do to you if you slip. All you have to do is make one little stupid human mista-.”

“Edward!” Esme interrupted me in her angry mother voice.

I backed away from Rose. I looked from the shocked face of my best and only friend to the disapproving glare of Esme and back to the trembling girl in front of me.

I walked to the front door to leave and paused. Half turning, I made eye contact with the terrified girl still frozen to her seat. I thought of Bella for a brief moment and it was like a slap in the face. That could be Bella sitting there and not Emmett’s girlfriend.

“I was wrong.” I spoke evenly to Rose, “I am the one who is sorry. I am the monster here. I’m sorry I wasn’t left to bleed out wherever it was that I was turned,” I looked at Esme, “I’m sorry I cant do anything right and you’re always having to fly in to smooth over the messes I make.” I looked to Emmett, “I’m sorry we didn’t meet when I was a man. I don’t know anything about me then but I know I would have made you a far better friend.” My voice cracked slightly and I was out the door before anyone could respond.

I located a herd of deer nesting in a thicket a few moments after entering the dark woods. Springing from a tree, I snapped the neck of a particularly fresh smelling young doe and drained her for all she was worth. The scent of blood in the air had caught the attention of a passing mountain lion and I drained him as well. That would have to do. Burying both the bodies only took a minute and I was back in the treetops headed to my favorite perch outside her window.

My cock twitched in my pants. Easy boy, I thought. Bella had grown into quite the woman the last few years. Ill never forget the first night I witnessed her pleasing herself. She had freshly showered and was preparing for bed. Dropping her towel in the middle of the floor, I was in awe of her beauty. Her creamy pale skin was so enticing. The small of her back and the swell of her hips and her firm ass made my dick harden on sight. When she turned around I gazed on her round breasts for a moment before dipping my gaze lower to the small patch of dark, curly hair between her legs.

Bella was young but well on her way to womanhood. She had been touching herself for a few years now and it seemed every time I saw her do it she was even sexier. At first, her movements were clumsy and unsure but as time went on she became more in tune with what her body craved. She used a small vibrator now and the experience was enhanced when she discovered she liked to pull on her nipples before an impending orgasm. It excited me and often I would participate just outside her window.

I know it made me a creep to get off outside this girls window. Being a creep is the least of my troubles. She made me feel better even when there was no intimacy. Sometimes, she would just grab a book and curl on her bed until she drifted off to sleep. I would sit peacefully on my comfortable branch and watch her dream.

As I got closer to the house, I could feel something was out of place. The breeze shifted and I smelled it. Dog, and not just any dog, he was back. I have never figured out the connection between Bella and this dog. He was there five years ago when I handed Bella’s listless body over to a man outside the grocery store next door to the hospital. I shoved her in his arms and split. There was no way I could have brought her in myself without being marauded with questions.

As I had turned to leave, I head a cry from behind me, “Bells!’ I caught his scent first and turned to see a young boy run up to the mortified stranger who still cradled the bleeding girl in his arms. The man was standing there processing what had just happened when the thought occurred to him, she needed a doctor. If this human moved any slower she might possibly die. Shaking the thought from my head, I set off to find Carlisle.

I had almost completely forgotten the light putrid scent of the boy until several years ago he started hanging around Bella. It was clear the dog hadn’t begun to phase yet and he was more than likely unaware of the changes that would be taking over his body through his teen years. His scent however, had gotten stronger, indicating he was getting closer to the transformation period.

The dog, Jacob, as the humans called him, made many attempts to gain attention from Bella and every time she shut him down. It was a frustrating time for me. I wanted nothing more than to rip his head from his body. It was also in the middle of summer and he came by day, making it difficult for me to be here at the same time. He was still a young pup and Bella was adamant in her refusals to him. I overheard her dad the night he had called Jacob’s father and demanded that Jacob not bother Bella again. After that, it stopped. I didn’t see anything or smell him around at all before tonight.

I was used to his scent being in the woods closer to the Reservation. All the mutts in this area lived on the land, free of disturbance, granted to them by some ancient treaty. I stayed away from that side of the woods. Vampires and dogs do not mix. It would not bode well for me if I were to break an age old treaty set fourth by the Volturi.

The closer I got to her house, the stronger the foul odor became. The stench curdled in my nose and permeated my clothing. He was here alone and he had been all throughout this particular section of woods that led to Bella’s back yard. Reaching the edge of the woods, I stopped. Listening, I could only hear the loud snoring and worn heartbeat of Charlie, Bella’s father, inside the house. That man wouldn’t be around much longer, I noted.

The smell of the Jacob was everywhere. I canvassed the woods finding every spot the dog had been. He had apparently canvassed the area too. I wondered if he picked up my scent in the woods one day and followed me here. That was a strong possibility.

I knew the dog presented no danger to Bella. Dogs had been created by the ancient ones to protect humans from the bloodsuckers, me. My lips snarled back baring my teeth in reflex. No dog would take from me what was mine. Her body and soul may be her own, as well as the blood that flows in her veins, but the peace she gives me would not be taken from me by a lowly dog. Circling the perimeter a few more times, I entered the yard and quickly climbed to the branch I also I claimed as mine.

Bella wasn’t home tonight. Occasionally, on weekends she stayed with friends. I was almost relieved she had not been here when the dog had been prowling about.

As carefully as I had come into the yard, I left. I was careful of the path I traveled as I slipped into the darkness. Disturbed by the unwanted visitor I smelled tonight, I knew I would be back. And soon.

_____


AN:

Enter Edward. He’s creepy in a hot, dirty sort of way. I cant wait to get to know him better!

Much Thanks to my dear friend Kristy T. who is working on the blog for me.

Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.~